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Day 17

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Jeremi, Oct 7, 2019.

  1. Jeremi

    Jeremi Fapstronaut

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    The last 16 days had been pretty much a miracle to me. But I flopped on the 17th day. I don't think there is anything to learn from this time so I came to you guys hoping to find something new.
    How hard did the relapse put me? Pretty hard
    Now I have been wanking 6 times for the past 48 hours with each time feeling shittier.
    Yesterday, I was hanging out with my friends to watch a new movie: Joker. The film was very good, after that, we decided to get something to drink before heading home. One of my friends was leading the way and he was fucking lost as always, leading us to nowhere. I was kinda pissed back then but for the sake of the fun, I held it back. Then thing all came exploded when my friends left me behind, speeding up towards the destination. The reason was that I got held back by the traffic. But what was worst was that they failed to stop and wait for me. What a bunch of shithead. I decided to come home after that and the 1-hour driving home was just fucking madness. It seemed like everyone was trying to piss me off by the stupid driving skills. During the drive, I felt lonely man. My friends abandoned me. I started to feel like no one care about my well-being anymore. After the break-up, I was devastated then here this happened. I was crying all the way home. I was heartbroken with people being emotionless to each other. The thought of PMO never arrived till I got home. A sense of loneliness hit me like a fucking truck, bend and twist me into an ugly form. Then I reach porn and all I had was 5 seconds of pleasure before I got all mad and started to smash stuff in my room. The 17th day was something of achievement so far and I fucking ruined it. My parents got up and hell yea we had a really big fight that night. How I feel that everything was just pointless. I have been sitting at home the whole day, doing nothing like a real loser. I don't know what to do. I have so much in my mind but there is no one to share. All of my friends are FAPPER so guess that will not work either. I have lost all the love in this life. Tomorrow seems so vague to me right now. Thank you guys for reading this long post. I just need to let it off my chest here since I feel helpless out there.
     
    Needtotrain likes this.
  2. 1. Don't make things worse as they already are. You're not a looser, you have decided to master your PMO addiction and you slipped. So what? That is still better as if you had PMOed the whole three past weeks.
    An urge for PMO, or for alcohol (it's the same) comes up, when we feel bad and weak. This is the hard part of NoFap. It is easy not to watch Porn and masturbate when we are happy and surrounded by good company. When life gets hard, this is where it counts.
    You can restart today. Reset your counter and start.

    2. You should change friends if this is how they make you feel. Better be alone than surrounded by people that make you feel weak. Also, by being alone you make room for new, hopefully better relationships.

    3. Parents: bah, this is how they are. Mine told me to go to hell and the wished me failure in everything I did. They do not accept my wife because she's black.
    If this is temporary, ok, however if they always pull you down, then you should ditch them, at least for a while. I know it is hard, but again, better have nothing then something evil.

    4. Traffic sucks. It's one of life hardships. You can ask if there is a way to avoid it: take the subway, leave earlier, switch towns, I don't know. If there isn't, well you're not alone, carry your burden pal, Do it with dignity.
     
    Jeremi likes this.
  3. mattyjsy

    mattyjsy Fapstronaut

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    You're doing great bro, in the face of all of what you're going through you still hit a streak that most people here struggle to reach and you're still trying. Life is beating you down but your goals remain in view in spite of it. It's people like you that inspire me. Keep going
     
    Jeremi likes this.

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