Dealing with social anxiety and isolation.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by horny nerd, May 10, 2019.

  1. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

    I think I have this problem because of how I grew up and was raised. I grew up with no dad and a very religious mom. She never really approved of me hanging out with too many people who don't go to the same church, but the kids at the church weren't that great and none of them really liked me. I had some good friends from church and from school, but they all ended up moving away.

    I used to be real extroverted, but having no friends and no one to really open up to I developed social anxiety. I started illicitly taking xanax to go to church since that even made me anxious and it still does. We sat in the front and for some reason I'm anxious that people are looking at my head or something.

    I still go to church and I still always take some kind of anxyliotic before. Usually l theanine or kratom now.

    Then I started using cannabis. At first it made me confident and happy but now the days after I act awkward. I don't really have a problem with anxiety while I'm high, except whenever I eat a lot of edibles. I don't know if it causes me more anxiety after but I think it does so I'm planning to stop and use at most only once every two weeks. If someone knows about this please post an explanation because I don't know the science behind this. Maybe it could be that marijuana reduces Gaba and the residual thc keeps my Gaba low. Maybe it has to do with nicotinic receptors. I read somewhere in longecity that it could possibly effect those receptors somehow and cause anxiety in the long term.

    I vaped cannabis 2 days ago and yesterday I started getting slight social anxiety when I was at the grocery store. Like the kind where I start walking weird then I get concerned about the way I'm walking. And now today I just have that weird shaky feeling and my brain feels a little foggy but my vision looks real good. I really don't want to take medicine which causes Gaba tolerance and which ends up worsening anxiety the more you use it like benzodiazepines do. I wish there was some kind of supplement which took away anxiety but didn't worsen anxiety in the long run or cause any tolerance. Now I just use l theanine once a week and kratom once a week on a different day.

    I thought that making it this far on nofap would take away my social anxiety. I definitely noticed the increased attraction from girls, but it was mostly from girls I'm not interested in. Or it's random flirting or compliments by some women who are way older than me. I have some friends now, but we aren't too close and I can tell they have their own problems they deal with. We don't really hangout that much and when we do we just go see a movie complain about how it sucked and go home. When I'm around friends I really don't have any social anxiety, but when I'm alone and have to be around strangers and interact I have more difficulty sometimes.

    I've been going to the gym and that really helps when I go the next day and that day I have less anxiety, but I can only go 2 days a week and this week I only went once. I also now go ride around my bike for like and hour or 30 minutes sometimes and that helps a lot.

    I have experienced a huge increase of confidence on nofap before but it was on an earlier day. I might be going through a bit of a flatline right now. I also started edging for a minute in the morning like 2 weeks ago and that probably made my anxiety worse.
    1dayattatime likes this.
  2. Iambrain

    Iambrain Fapstronaut

    I only just started nofap a few days ago but ive had anxiety most of my life. Also been smoking cannabis for 20+ years. One thing i can tell you is for me weed isnt really a solution to anxiety. It just numbs my senses so I might not notice it. Also cuts motivation down so youre more likely to netflix and chill with your ✋. Nofap to me is about impulse control. Denying your mind the crutch of smoking weed in my mind would only increase the benefits of nofap. Easier said than done but thats my goal. My suggestions for you are quit weed and get a job doing something where you talk to people. My anxiety has been less since i started working as a waiter. Anyway man good luck
    Felipe.dasilva likes this.
  3. HecTormoku

    HecTormoku Fapstronaut

    At this point you probably already know that we fight more than one addiction, and this process is more than just stop PMO for 90 days. As I regain more brain clarity I started to notice more compulsive behaviors, but most important of all, I started to notice all those hidden feelings that led me in those addictions in the first place. I propose you the following activity next time you're about to use drugs or start to edge: identify in your body where is that feeling coming from, then put your hand in that area and let yourself to make noises, or try to give a voice on that specific feeling. It will help you to identify part of why you're doing that, and then look for an answer for what is troubling you. If as you say the origin is your story then accept what you can't change and compromise yourself in what you can change. I grew with a religious mother too, but I could only forgive her when I recognized she did the best she can to rise me. She may have been rised that way or not, that is her own story and choices, but me as her son all I can do is accepting her.
    I send you my best wishes, bro :D
    Committed to One likes this.
  4. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    Acting weird when on cannabis in public places are quite normal to people. Reason is that you start overthinking about what people think and you believe they deffinetly notice that youre high, so you start acting weird and unnaturally. Use some sunglasses and dont think about what others think. Or stop using. For me cannabis was wonderful at first, but at the and all i got was anxiety and bad trips. So I quit. And its all good now.
  5. Committed to One

    Committed to One Fapstronaut

    Understanding of how we were raised and the deficits we experienced (growing up without a father figure) or trauma and abuse that happened to us is very important to seeing how we were set up to choose unhealthy coping mechanisms (pmo, drugs, alcohol,etc) that attempt to fill those voids and deal with the effects of trauma.
    Going beyond that and saying that they are the cause of your current behavior or addictions is a trap that will keep us bound by those experiences and unable to move past our behavior into a healthy way of dealing with life. It luls us into the belief that we don't have a choice when in fact we do. We are just powerless to make some healthy choices because we have unresolved pain, anger and hurt that is overriding our cognitive ability to think clearly.
    This is vital!
    And it is also very, very difficult. It sounds good and true, which it is and we can accept, and then we find ourselves right back where we started wondering "what the heck?". It takes some time and most often takes some help to work through some of those things that keep tripping us up. And that's just the stuff that happened to us that we really and truly didn't have control over. There is also the shame that we feel about choices that we have made that is also present and can keep us shackled.
    There truly is more to this than just stopping a behavior. That is a great first step on a journey in which we learn to accept that we are loved, how to love ourselves and how to forgive and love others in their brokenness.

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