Hi guys, I'm feeling really depressed right now. I don't know what to do anymore, I've relapsed 4 days in a row lately, and I'm feeling so weak. In those 4 days, I've had 11 Relapses. I feel like I "need" 4 more relapses until I'm okay so I don't become Gay (HOCD). I'm really scared, and I feel like I've given up on everything, I've failed everyone including myself.