Do we realy want to stop?!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by fedupist, Aug 21, 2017.

  1. fedupist

    fedupist Fapstronaut

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    I´m now for about 15 years fighting against porn. Sometimes it´s victories and sometimes it´s not, but i´m fighting.

    But after all this time i ask my self this question and i want to ask you the same question:

    Do you really want to stop doing this?

    My life is in diffrent parts ruined because of porn but i still want it. This is crazy to do something that ruines your ilfe and you still want it. Sometimes more than anything else!

    I´m am man but on this topic i behave my self like a little child that wants to touch the hot ofen again and again.....

    I´ve restarted three days ago and i hope i can answere this question with YES!

    How about you? Do you really want to stop with this?!
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2017
  2. Chudmeister

    Chudmeister Fapstronaut

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    I really do, it's ruining my marriage and my life. Something has to be done, i can't just do it and then lie to my wife about it anymore. Trust is a huge thing, you take a lot of things lightly that are very serious. I don't know what will happen to my marriage I pray day and night for the answers. And I can't use my wife as a reason to do it. It's not fair to her that I put her in the middle of my problem. She can be a part of it, as in support but not in the middle. It's the hardest thing I've had to do, and I've never been so serious or passionate about anything since I met my wife. So yes for me it's worth it.
     
    thorswrath32, Sadgirl and fedupist like this.
  3. I have been here 3¾ years and this begs the question you have raised. The answer seems to be no, otherwise I should have kicked the addiction by now. I am single and live alone, so there are no complications that impinge on my ability to deny myself this vice. My best ever effort was over a year ago when I made it to 8 months! I have had many triple figure streaks. Yet I am drawn inexorably to go back and repeat the same behaviour time and time and time again. Bummer! :(

    I can be fine for numerous days, even weeks and occasionally months. But, somehow, I still yean for porn. I still want to masturbate to that 'perfect video'. My motivation to quit altogether, is not strong enough to eclipse my wish to wank to some porn! :rolleyes: What a damning indictment of a middle-aged bloke who is truly enslaved to this shitty addiction. :( I say
    it is a shitty bloody addiction, because that is how I see it, truly. Perhaps my only redeeming feature is my sincere desire
    to motivate, encourage and support others. I really want the success of others, in spite of being a hopeless case myself.

    Sorry to everyone I have disappointed. :( but I still wish to be part of your recovery. I will try to reach my goals as well. o_O
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2017
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  4. Chudmeister

    Chudmeister Fapstronaut

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    It's understandable when you are single to fap, but when you are married and it is there then there's no excuse, I myself have no reason to fap, and yet here I am.
     
  5. fedupist

    fedupist Fapstronaut

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    Thats a good description i think.
    A specialy what you´ve said about looking for that "perfekt video" I´m a christian and there is a passage in the bible that speaks exactly about this" The eye is never satisfite" I think the Lust will never go away but the attitude is the point to speak about. There is no one who is holding a gun to my head and says "you must fap" No it is my dissison. I could say no and don´t do it because I WANT IT. Thats it.

    I hope for me and for you that we man up and fight it to the blood ;)

    I wish you much succes!
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2017
  6. Kingofthecastle

    Kingofthecastle Fapstronaut

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    Very good question!! I Have been fapping for more than 25 years now. It started with the odd porn magazine and I never considered it a problem until internet became available, and with it, unlimited access to pretty much everything... this changed the game I think. But I am still not sure why fapping would actually be a problem and can not consider my life without fapping ever again...Having said that I appreciate a break every now and then. I am married with kids and even though I love my wife I am not sexually attracted to her anymore. I have been without fapping for months but it never changed a thing... not sure if nofap is always the solution.
     
  7. fedupist

    fedupist Fapstronaut

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    So that means you don´t feel emtpy when you have done it?
    You don´t have times when your mind is only thinking about porn and fapping?
    Youre wife never had a problem with the fact that you watch porn and fap?
    It would not be a problem for you when your children would start watching porn and fap?
    You don´t suffer any negative consequences because of porn and fapping?

    These are only a few reasons i would say it is a problem.
     
  8. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Why are you not sexually attracted to your wife anymore?
     
  9. Hey man,
    For me willpower didn't work. I have tried 4 years purely on willpower and relapsed so many times.

    I'm now in Sexuaholics anonymous. And they've thought me something very important.

    Don't fight the the triggers/lust. Say you are powerless against it and let it go. Don't fight it.


    It's just a tip.
     
  10. Chris-A

    Chris-A Fapstronaut

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    I know that deep down I want to quit this addiction, but I also know it has been my comfort for nearly 16 years. Lonely, scared, ashamed, boredom etc. whenever I feel negative emotion I turn to porn to feel better, and right now I am trying to change that. Porn has been like an emotional blanket for me and when I go long periods of time I feel somewhat lost without it.
     
  11. thorswrath32

    thorswrath32 Fapstronaut

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    For me I had to reach rock bottom through both porn and drug addiction to make me realise that continuing is not going to get me anywhere. I know many people who found it very difficult to give up drugs because they knew they 'should' give up and they knew it was causing them 'harm' and other people were 'telling them' to stop but simply they hadn't had enough yet. We all have these epiphanys or ideas, like new years resolutions, they sound great at the time but in practice it's hard to let go of these crutches we have used for so long but that doesn't mean we should stop trying to quit because each relapse is an opportunity to learn what went wrong. A lot of people fail their way to success, it's not something that happens over night, i tried for two years to stop PMO and drugs until I had my internal snap or rock bottom moment, for me that was like the straw that broke the camels back. I honestly don't believe if I had the opportunity to go back that I would. My life isn't great and i'm not rich and neither am I in love with anyone, sometimes I get lonely but what would make it 10 times worse is fapping in desperation to online porn and turning back to drugs, all that ever did was destroy what humanity I had left in me.
     
  12. Chudmeister

    Chudmeister Fapstronaut

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    I love this and you're so right, being honest with yourself and your significant other is very important.
     
  13. DeltaMeansChange

    DeltaMeansChange Fapstronaut

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    This, my friend, is why we call it an addiction, and a destructive one at that. Don't go chasing that high.
     
  14. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    Obviously, we want to stop or we would not be here, but sometimes we don't, lol. Sometimes I get that fappers wank haze and my mind tricks me into doing it. It can be done though I was fap free for the majority of my youth.
     
  15. Kingofthecastle

    Kingofthecastle Fapstronaut

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    I can't say that I feel empty afterwards. My main regret, and I am more aware of it when I don't fap for a while, is the time spent on porn. It feels like a lit of wasted time sometimes. But I do get some satisfaction out of fapping (it does feel good) so I don't see it as a problem in itself. Obviously I wouldn't be here if I thought that It was fine. I thought that to stop fapping could help get sexually attracted to my wife but It didn't happen for me... I know that my children will watch porn and fap,I din't live in a cave, and you would have to be quite naive to think otherwise. I just hope that it won't become a problem for them and that they will still be able to have a healthy sexual life.
     
  16. Kingofthecastle

    Kingofthecastle Fapstronaut

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    Well... I still love her and she is still beautiful and I wouldn't live with anyone else but I guess that after so much time spent together the desire faded...I can't explain it, I just don't have that sexual desire anymore. Maybe it is just life. We still make love on a regulat basis but nothing like the first years... It might sound sad but I don't see it that way. Have you experienced anything similar?
     
  17. Sadgirl

    Sadgirl Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    How long have you bern married? Hmmmmm.....my husband and I have gone through periods of no sex-mostly due to P use I think (turned to P due yo stress). I still find him ridiculously attractive though and we have great sex now. I assume he is into me because he is all over me.
     
  18. fedupist

    fedupist Fapstronaut

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    I also think that the "image" we have about sex is very wrong because of our pornuse. Sex is for us something we consume aspecialy regarding porn. But sex with our spouse is something totaly diffrent. It´s not about what i can recieve from him or her it´s about what i can give. Sex is about giving in the first place and when you live it that way you will receive much more than only a good orgasm :)

    Our minds are poluted because of the scenes we saw and we practice something with our spouses that has nothing to do with the "real sex" that should deepin our relationships and not only be some kind of satisfaction.

    How about romantic things. How about aranging a candlelight dinner or doing something to surprise her? But without the goal to receive sex from her. That is very exciting and it helped me a lot to get back to a normal view on sex.

    By the way Hardcore Porn is not people having sex! Its abusing women and nothing more!
     

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