dont able to get more

hey, so ive been on and off nofap since january. have had 30 plus day streaks in february, but since august been no more than 9 days... well ive had a 10 plus date on tinder in november, but havent been able to message her in november, due to...well, due to time. on sunday i wanted to call her since weve been messaging back and forth for a week, but i just. i just couldnt, ya know. well, whats going on, i dont know. help me. i dont want to shut myself off off women completely as is indoctrinated tome in red pill community, i dont know what to do. @SPIRITUSS sorry for being offensive to you, i realize now, that, ive had a very negative attitude toward the other gender, which is in no way related to my real aspirations and motivations. forgive me brother, if you can. i want to live like a man should live. with men and women alike. i called her twice this evening, totally drunk, but she didntn answer, well so i just wait for her call, if shell call or respond at all. im curious whats gonna happen. if anything, i want to apologuize to women... love yall