My humble success story I'll begin with how it all started, then move on to the sweet moments The failures in my life started in a small way from the age of 18. At that age I tried a prostitute in a brothel. At the beginning everything was going well, then suddenly my tool started to fall off, friction was not felt either. There was no excitement. Half an hour of unclear what we were doing, besides she had an enlarged vagina. As a result, it didn't work out. I was rejected by a woman... At the time, my PMO history was about 4 years. I wasn't particularly upset, even worse I lied to my friends that I lasted 30 minutes. But some pain still remained in my soul, and to extinguish it I again continued PMO even harder in a bit despair - 2-3 times a day because I was in quarantine. And when school started, friends called for prostitutes, and I excused myself and even began to complex and jealous of them that they are given natural pleasure without labor. It was an enviable dream to feel like a real man and a hero in front of women, while for others it was an everyday thing. The moments when I started paying serious attention to it and working on it. When I was in my 20's, I started getting to know NoFap. During those times I was both jerking off and learning something about abstinence. I failed many times. Well finally once I was able to last a month, while doing edging occasionally. I thought that was enough, well I decided to try again on a prostitute, and as a complete surprise... there was absolutely nothing! Not a single reaction! Absolute disappointment in myself and in other people, loss of manhood, which I already didn't have. Plus during those times I thought a lot about how I was going to be a father, satisfy my wife, etc., which is just unimaginable. Then I assumed NoFap wasn't helping and visited a urologist. I had chronic prostatitis. On a side note, I had a varicocele cured with surgery in 8th grade - the cause of the formation was again heavy masturbation, not any physical activity. I was suffering from frequent urination at the time. I cured prostatitis, then I visited a prostitute again - to no avail. Urination was not cured. I started digging in the Internet and assumed again that it was the kidneys, which I learned from a book by a Chinese author. I took a risk and did an ultrasound of the kidneys, bladder and urethra. Again treated them and continued to do abstinence. Strips went up to 3 months. Released in between because the veins from the testicles swelled up. It turns out that from long excitement sperm are produced and stuck in the veins. Inflammation makes them swell, too. And they sink down over time. In general, during the periods of working on myself I suffered a lot morally and raised my mood back and got motivation by different sources. Thanks to the information I learned, I started exercising. Also trained my brain to real women. When dating girls, it could stand for a long time. I finally thought maybe I'm ready for it?? Recently in the army for 1 month scrotum began to hurt. Had a checkup: kidneys, bladder, prostate are fine. Except that varicocele of 2 degree is not a special problem... But I still do not get aroused at the usual sight of women, while other people often say the opposite and it also a little complexed me. Only from close contact or on the phone during intimate communication. But still decided to take a risk again, I think it is inexpensive, and the result is more important than my life! I sat on my car, took the woman and drove in the evening to a corner in an abandoned place. As I said before I was not aroused at the sight of her, but as soon as I started with caresses - kissing breasts, legs - it got hard and I inserted... It was tight, and the woman herself was not young and not attractive. And I acted in the missionary position. In between I didn't feel any friction at all, but in some places I did. But the instrument was hard all the time. I thought from such low sensitivity I would just shake like before and nothing would come out... And I remembered the words of other Nofap participants and psychologists, who said that one should concentrate not on the result, but on feelings, and love, unless of course it is a prostitute). So I stopped worrying and caring about it, closed my eyes and tried to FEEl it. It started to work somehow and eventually I cum. Everything lasted 10 minutes. Impressions I was happy of course, and she was the prostitute with whom I had failed 2 times, and whom I promised that one day I would fuck anyway. She was moaning at the time. I've heard from psychologists that there's no such thing as a constant high level of happiness and vice versa - the worst mood state. One always gets used to it. But there is a little bit above and below average and that`s ALL. I then felt just moderately satisfied with myself and modestly confident as a man. Yes, and began to believe even more deeply that there is nothing impossible or prescribed in a man's life. Result: at the age of 21 I experienced real sex. Tomorrow my eyes began to be aroused by sights that I might even have been disgusted by before. I used to think I had a narrow range for women. Now apparently I'm completely normal in that respect. I couldn't help myself and in the last few days I masturbated 4-5 times a day to porn, although now my impressions on porn were completely different, I was so saturated with them that they can't tie me down again! After all, you now know how different PMO and real sex are....
First lemme start by congratulating you for your success. But had some few question to ask. The surgeries you've had, did you notice any symptoms of the sickness or you the doctors tested. And how long did take on nofap before trying to have for the last, that you were successful.
Varicocele causes discomfort and some pain in movement. Also veins around testicles, mostly of the left ones, swell up. I started from December up until September, when it worked out. 10 months overall with lots of relapses during it. I had got to reach 3 or 2 months streaks.
