Entitlement

Dam perfect described me

 

Do you think your entitlement has roots in male chauvinism or practiced male privilege that are still rooted in basically the non-dominant parts of your personality or that are suppressed?

 

I think that this article makes a little sense in that regard
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex/2014/07/narcissism-porn-use-and-addiction/
I think that porn makes us become self centered without us noticing, I mean we watch porn for our own pleasure without caring for anything you mention @Arnuld, so yeah I think is the attitude of an addict.

 

Here's two separate takes I've found: Looking at women in porn is directly related to how I look at women in general.
BUT: Looking at women in porn as damaged/abused/desperate is just as harmful as reducing women in other careers. I can think of women in sex related industries that enjoy what they do, and some that dont.

How I look at women outside of porn also correlates to what kind of women I'm attracted to - as if I can still reduce women to whether or not i'm attracted to them by what value they have as me.

Lately I've been looking to read more stories about women and from the perspective of women, and it's been helping. It's kind of a new-feminism thing to do that if you're a man, but it has been working.

 

Yes I have also had an entitlement mindset with these things. For myself I would also add "feeling entitled to pleasure", "feeling entitled to having a girlfriend", and "feeling entitled to love"

 

Those to me definitely seem like things that a culture of masculinity teaches us as men, and then we're further surrounded by an idea of masculinity as something that means society owes us something for "being on the top" (even though we aren't) and worth interrogating.

Maybe thinking "where do these beliefs come from? why do I believe I am entitled to these things" is it our addictions, or that we think we're more valued in society for being men.

 

I completely agree that porn and masturbation have made me a highly narcissistic person. It is an addiction done in isolation, which one does not talk about with anyone under any circumstances, walling off oneself to the outside world, trapped in a self-contained box with only your own thoughts and feelings to preoccupy yourself with. And every PMO session rewards and reinforces this developing narcissistic personality. I don't know that I will ever be able to completely undo the damage. In fact, I'm talking about myself in this post as we speak, aren't I!

 

I felt the same way after I read the article but I don't feel the damage is permanent the main reason being that we're aware of our problem and trying to change it... the more I am near rebooting the more I feel my attitude changes, i've come to think that the entitlement and narcissistic tendencies come from our addict mind and the more we get away from that eventually we'll move on from those tendencies too...

Of course this is just me making a supposition but I hope I can improve those mind sets with time.

 

I now these feelings. And I think your brain acts subconscious. It connects what you have told it so many times. It sees a beautiful women. Your brain connects it to porn. The brain doesn't know that porn is just a movie. When you masturbate to porn it thinks you are doing the sexual act to the woman. It therefore thinks it can do this to every woman it wants. And then you start to want sex with a random woman because your brain thinks it can do this.

These are just my thoughts about the connection between all the stuff. I think it's just normal. When someone drops a pen, you brain tells automatically to catch it before it drops to the floor. These reflexes come out suddenly, if you want or not.

When rebooting you give your brain new connections to do subconscious. You heal it. And after a long time it connects the right things again, perhabs talking to the girl, asking her how she is.

I hope you understand what I wanted to tell. I am not a native speaker Sorry for my bad writing.

 

Rings very true for me. The problem is so acute, especially as many of us use alter egos instead of our real names in the porn world, creating the illusion that it's not really us taking part. This is particularly true of camgirl sites. I used an alter ego and behaved differently to the way I would in real life. There's a real case of split personality in play and you become someone you despise when mired in the murky world of porn

 

Wow this post is 100% me. The scary thought I struggle with is at any time the addict me can win. He seems to strike quick like a snake.

This. I struggle with this everyday. I’m married and will never cheat on my wife with another woman...but the struggle within is real. My therapist and I were talking about ogling and ways to prevent it. He said the way he stopped is by telling himself “I know for a fact that I am never going to fuck her! Why waste my time staring and thinking about it!?” I had a good laugh but it actually seems to be working for me a little bit.

 

I hope you are right..... This kind of narcissism sucks because one is so lonely in it.... I do think it will take time to climb out of, but it's worth a try