Escort addiction

I saw an escort the day before I started the path of semen retention. It was an addiction I had for many years.

Eventually I got to a point where I wanted to change my ways more than I wanted to continue seeing prostitutes. I think this is true of any addiction, the pain of staying the same was worse than the pain of change.

 

The last time I saw an escort was right before Thanksgiving in 2019. I've been doing pure celibacy ever since in an effort to fix my broken brain.

 

Its hard to break if you got cash and spare time but it can be done , Its been 14 years since i last saw an escort she was hot but rude and hurried service made me think "what in the hell am i doing this for i deserve better. In that 14 years since that i have been tempted but working on myself has helped alot plus saved alot of $$$$$

 

Mate it drives me crazy and I think it is worse than the Porn Addiction because these women are beautiful and you would never in real life meet women like that in real life as they come from other countries so it's painful I find it such a temptation for me I find it hard to go out but I don't want to give in to that temptation cause I feel so awful afterwards I keep trying to lie to myself thinking they like me but it's not true at all it's the Money they won't you know and yeah it's expensive mate I don't want to think about it

 

Yea I do struggle with it. Yes it is pretty expensive. What helps it checking my bank balance and getting frustrated. I do not like throwing away money. During the many escorts I was with, it felt good. But, internally being with those escorts women felt fake. It wasn't real. I was just doing it to replace my struggles with women in the past. In the past, I had issues getting a girlfriend, making a relationship last more than two weeks, living alone and so on.

 

@mattthew400
Same boat, these girls are beautifull and very addictive.

I just barely don't overdue my spending.

I am reall visiting prost a lot lately, it's grazy.
They also offer your kinks.
I don't even date, I am to ashamed for anything.
I am not even that weird or bad looking, if I try a little.

 

Basically government only they give you what you want.

 

Like you, I too have struggled with this addiction to prostitutes. My first experience began in 2012 and since then this behavior has increased more frequently (currently this year I am dealing with the breakdown of an emotional bond with an escort, with whom I created a cycle of sick attachment). Anyway, this lifestyle is not only a blow to your economy, but a risk to your health and a damage to your emotional development. It is a world of fantasy and self-deception. This addiction is a terrible, destructive and lonely lifestyle and, as is often the case with addictions, it will never satisfy you and can lead to other sexual behaviors that are dangerous for you and others.

 

Yeah that rings very true to me the women were great looking but it seemed more like a rushed service , i just used it at a time when i didnt have much experience with women and had some self esteem self confidence issues that I worked through after i stoped seeing escorts. 300+ an hour will drain your account so it woke me up to I had to grow up a quote that i remeber from a movie really kind of hit the nail on the head for me about escorts the quote goes " there is a diffrence from being laid and being loved" with escorts i was just getting laid not love. When i was with real women that was being loved.

 

i would like to express myself over here,i don't earn i'm 19 rn(completed it yesterday itself),i'd like u all to look at the psychological aspect of the things.money is important and really does matter,but if u look at the mental issue you'll realize that hiring an escort is in a way better,it's telling ur brain to get dopamine through sex i.e naturally through bodily contact,no doubt using protection and stuff is a must,but i guess we all will agree to the fact that using porn for pleasuring ourselves leads to a wrong perspective of sex,sex becomes a third person thing,i'm not saying that hiring an escort is a good way to go about things but personally i feel it doesn't harm the brain's neuroplasticity the way porn does.
any comments that are for or against my opinion are welcomed,this discussion is very productive tbh.

 

For me I used porn as a way to keep away from escorts but using porn always leads me back to escorts. They are so interconnected to me so I don't know if one is better than the other but I get ur point.

 

I share many of the experienced already expressed here. Started with porn, escalated to strip clubs then escorts and massage parlours.

I had been away from any sex trade workers for two years until last week when I relapsed. I was drunk and convinced myself that I somehow deserved this "break"

Needless to say I feel like a bag of shit, but it is a good reminder for me and everyone that the addiction never goes away... We always have to stay vigilant.

 

This is maybe the worst cycle of PMO. Escorts are always vying for clients. Theyre hot but every experience is terse and unsatisfying afterwards due to guilt and shame. But, you forget all that and go back when an urge hits.

Im currently on 7th day of a streak and havent seen an escort in a little over a month.

 

Keep going strong, CJ

 

I totally agree with this and much of what I've read on this post. Escorts are a bigger temptation than porn for me, but often lead me to porn. I also have a hard time keeping myself from looking at the escort and massage parlor ads in my area. I don't give in to that temptation near as often (no more than 2-3 times a year) and not for the last four years It was especially tough when I lived i Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal. This last time I relapsed with porn it was partly because I was so tempted to call an escort and told myself I would allow porn if I didn't call an escort. Some how even though I felt shame from past experiences I also have euphoric recall from some of my experiences and still get caught up in their attractiveness. Sometimes I try to justify getting a BJ because I know that is something I cannot expect in real life from my partner. I get myself pretty aroused and worked up when I think of that with an escort or see past experiences as pleasurable. Have to battle all these thoughts of fantasy that come up and deflect them. At the end of the day I know the women are only doing this for the money and probably would not being do it at all in most cases if their circumstances were better. I've read a couple of memoirs by escorts and that helped me see them in a different light for a while. One was called "Paid For" by Rachel Moran.

 

I never had an escort addiction but have visited web sites with their ads and called a few of them.

First time I ever called an escort I was driving to their hotel and got about 2 miles from my house and i started shaking uncontrollably in my car. I had to pull over in an empty parking lot, get out of my car, take a few deep breaths, walk around the car a few times to calm down. When i calmed down, i turned around and went home. I think i might have had a full blown panic/anxiety attack about visiting an escort.

You would think that panic attack would be enough, but I call another escort a few weeks later. This time I was able to drive to their hotel, parked in the parking lot, but could not get the courage up to get out of the car so i turned around and went home.

Sure enough a few weeks I make a 3rd call to another escort. I drove out to the hotel and this time got out of the car. I got her room number and was on my way up on the elevator and was trying to talk myself out of it. The elevator opened and the housekeeping staff and their carts were there cleaning rooms and I instantly thought, this is a sting. I was like, "oops I hit the wrong number." Got back on the elevator and immediately got out of there. Was it a sting operation by the cops? I don't know but seeing the housekeepers in the hallway was enough to scare me straight. And thinking about that again, i can almost feel that same fear coming over an my palms are getting sweaty.

Any time after that 3rd experience, I would look at the escort ad sites, I would come up with worst case scenarios on why not to go see her. I would tell myself the following:
1. No idea what diseases she might have. Would this be worth catching HIV or some other STD?
2. Am i 100% sure this is not a sting operation and I won't get arrested? And then i would recall how scared i got after that 3rd experience.
3. Is it possible I am going to get mugged and robbed of my money, phone, and keys (which would mean my car is stolen)?
4. Could i spend this money on something better that would be more productive for my life. And sure enough I can always think of something better to spend a few hundred dollars on.

Sure these scenarios might be extreme, but it's enough to convince me to not even make the call.