Everyone leaves me and uses me

Hi Talhal.

Sounds like a really tough situation for you to be dealing with. It's a horrible thought to think people only want something from us. And it can be hurtful to have invested so much time in to trying to get to know someone and sharing personal things for it to then feel like they have lost interest. I appreciate it doesn't always make it easier when you hear it's something that a lot of other people experience either. But with that in mind, you aren't alone. Loneliness seems to be such a problem for so many people these days.

Have you taken any time to consider what you most value about yourself? Being 'liked' by others doesnt really count for anything if you cant find something about yourself that you like. If it seems that people are only interested in what they can gain from you academically, what other routes could you consider to make friends where the relationship is based on mutual interests, rather than just being about what you can offer someone else? Do you feel able to manage the suicidal thoughts, or are they getting worse?

It might be worth considering some form of counselling or support to help reflect on how this is making you feel if you are living with these thoughts on a frequent basis.

Take care.

 

I remember when I was 20, and felt the same. On my university I also helped other students which never felt like being friend of mine. I was IT student so there was only a few girls at that time, and one of them used to ask me often for help. I had a crush on her, but since I was so unconfident about my self I never was able to freely speak with her - I only spoke about study and other university things. There were lots of situations that really hurt me. Today I often come back to them and then I feel pain. It was 20 years ago and those are the only memories of that time.

Time passes and I don't change that much, at least from the point of finding new relation with people. I don't find new relations because I am scared of rejection - and the pain it causes.... Well, something had changed - at around 24 I decided to ask for help - I went to a local counseling center and spend there almost 2 years - talking about various things - and it worked - I found the way in me to find a girlfriend which now is my wife. I am not saying that my life is 180 degrees changed from that when I was 20, but it changed maybe 140 degrees.

So, my suggestion for you is same as Hopefor2021 says, - ask for professional help. Dont wait for some miracle.

 

See people and the happiness they bring you as a gift that can go anytime. All in life is temporary only death is certain.

 

This has happen to me. I said to myself stuff you guys... I just move on. If they wa to find me or if they don’t I am not bother.. I rather be alone and being alone is ok... I would let this bother you.. there is so many people In The world and people just come and goes...

 

Have you ever initiated contact with these people during the pandemic? What was their response like (if they responded)? I think its always worth a try if you both have not been contacting each other. If you have reached out multiple times and got no answer back then its a clear sign the person just wanted to be in touch with you for school and that's all.

These types of situations don't say anything bad about you, it just means that the people you were associating with weren't trying to connect with you on a deeper level than school. I have seen this in my own life, some of my closest colleagues in college have gotten jobs across the country and now we don't talk. I think we teamed up and collaborated to get through school, shared some fun times along the way and now we don't have much in common anymore. There is one colleague I stay in touch with because we had a connection that was deeper than just school, now even that friendship is strained from the fact that we aren't visiting each other due to COVID.

 

Hello Talhah

Sorry to see you are feeling so down. People can be selfish, and this can be even worst in their youth. Modern culture does not help either, we all want instant gratification because that seems to be the norm now. Whether it be a like on IG or comments on our twitter.

Another forum member noted that you should engage in social activities that hold your interest. This is a very good suggestion, ultimately our commonalities is what binds us together. So finding social activities which interest you is a good way to meet people who share similar interest.

Also, don't let rejection slow you down. We often harbor negative feelings and project these when we dwell on rejection. This prevents us from taking advantage of true opportunities for love and friendship when they arrive.

I often turn to the serenity prayer as a guide in life, In summary it advises us to focus on those things we can impact and to learn to accept those things we can not. I say this because you can not control the actions and intent of others but you can control yourself and put yourself in situations to potentially meet like minded persons.

Sometimes we obsess over ourselves, failing to realize other persons are wrapped up in their own problems also. Do not be afraid to engage, but do not engage with delusions of some fabulous outcome. Friendships take time, but do not be needy either. Persons need to reciprocate your interest, if someone never reciprocates then you need to accept they are not interested for what ever reason and move on. Do not overthink it, do not dwell, do not beat yourself up. Just keep on moving and seeking your goals, the people who genuinely care will emerge naturally.

Wishing you the best bro, if you are a Topper at University then you are most likely destined for great things! The world needs people like you! Also, if you need get counselling, it never helps to suffer in silence. Talking to a professional can give you the perspective that you need. All the best.

 

Dont commit suicide, never commit suicide, and want to suicide because of that motive!??!? Come on dude, there are people in mozambique village palma dispatched by the islamic terrorists suffering alot , lost realtives and are with poor health .

Your fine, be grateful with that

 

Yes life is to short.. you are in this world once

 

You're on Day 4. Congrats.
To accelerate the Nofap recovery, do intermittent fasting on the weekend.

And conversation-wise, I think I can relate. People only talked to me when I'm the only one who can help. Do this: refuse helping unless they pay for it (with money).

That will give you more respect. If they hate you, they'll hate you because you stopped giving them something they are used to, which is receiving help from you for free. They hate to see you stand up for yourself. I say stand up for yourself and keep it that way. Sooner or later, someone will acknowledge your assertiveness and be your friend.

Or maybe they don't want to be your friend because you don't do the things they do. When I was in your shoes, the people I wanted to be friends with cussed a lot and called each other derogatory words. I didn't. I like conversing without using sweat words. This is why they didn't like to see me part if their circle.

Maybe they didn't like me because I was quiet. I spoke a little and when they asked something like "Do you like xyz?" I say "Yes" or "No" followed by a brief explanation. I guess they want discussion.

 

Ouuhh ! A university topper. I bet if anyone likes you because everytime you score more than them, they subconsciously feel bad about it.
Also as with me , most of the time I prevent myself from taking to the topper because I feel like he will think that I’m talking to him just because he is an A grader. ! Egotistical !

 

College in this time is very tough. I'm feeling very lonely as well, feeling sad and feel like i have made no friends.