OK so as if Valentine's Day isn't going to be sucky enough already...it usually is! I just found out my ex who is now just a friend is going to be staying with me over that Valentine's Day week. Oh FFS! Like you know, there is my epic romantic failure rubbed in my face on the most "romantic" day of the year. LUCKY me! Just wanted to vent, to get that out. And it's not like i can book a hotel and shag MYSELF on the day (on weekend) cos you know NoFap and all that. AARRGGHHHHHHHH damn it! We ARE friends and like sometimes we go out AS FRIENDS only. Like we might see a movie tonight, for e.g. and sometimes we get a meal. But we mostly live in other countries now and everything and he's with someone new, they are married and have kids and whereas I'm single LUCKY ME. Not that I want marriage and kids, I don't! But I DO want a boyfriend and i haven't even had a date since late October. Even that was over quickly and wasn't the big romance I would have liked and it's bust now. I know, I know, some of you probably thing oh diddums! But still, to me it feels like AARGGHHHH DAMN IT this is NOT how I want to spend what i already find to be the most suckiest day of the year on the most suckiest month of the year (the weather in this country is terrible in February usually worst of whole year!) I'm actually GLAD Feb is usually only 28 days! Not so fond of march either, unless Easter holidays falls then, which makes it heaps more fun! I think every other month I DO like. Including December (Christmas cheer), January (New Year's Hope) and April (warmer weather starts up again, and I can get back into hiring a bike and cycling through the city's beautiful big park I like to cycle through again and May with the flowers. etc etc. I love Autumn, Summer and Spring. And Christmas. And outdoor skating. But February? And Valentine's day? go away! and never come back! Of the suckiest season of the year. (Now if the ice skating outdoor season was longer it wouldn't suck, that'd be awesome, but they are wrapping it up early January.) If I had the money I swear I would travel somewhere that V Day weekend, but I don't. Maybe I can save up for next year If the airports don't get snowed out. Sorry, just venting. I WILL try to think positively about this. Right now I am so mad I don't even want to go to the movies with him but that movie sounds AWESOME and mmm popcorn! So, one day at a time, and priority numero Uno is get through these days without relapsing LOL! And I WILL be trying hard to think more positively and gratefully cos I know I need to and I got a really cool book that might help me. But STILL! And yes I wish he would stay somewhere else! He has an appointment with his lawyer on the 10th or something of Feb. and says he can't change it. URGHH. OK anyway I got it out of my system, I'll try to not let this get to me cos right now? I HATE Valentine's Day and February 2017 already, I REALLY DO. Ugh not a week. 5 Feb till end of March. OH JOY! NOT!!!!