Eye contact

We live in very strange world where everyone tries to avoid each other so eye contact with strangers is describing as "creepy" but its not. When i walking street and feeling good, especially on no fapp, my posture, head high etc. i always try catch eye contact with girls and guys, usually its one of few girls who would look me back but that small connection with stranger just make me feel better. Sometimes when i see girl holding eye contact for longer then i smirk some smile to her and carry on my walk. That little things matter to me.

 

I can only assume some guys start feeling more confident, and thus, they start walking like bonobos and staring at everyone at the streets.

I was always very conscious of myself and I don't plan to start swaggering on the streets. Not only within primates, but in the animal kingdom in general, looking directly in the eye is a signal of aggressiveness. That is creepy. Staring at old women in the public transport.

And maybe it's too early to notice a difference enough in confidence so others can see.

 

Yeah for some strange reason, when I was on noFap, I make frequent eye contact and hold it. I don't even want to do it, it just happens and I feel really creepy afterward. Is this normal human behavior? If it is, let it happen.

 

Why creepy? Its completely normal.

 

Well, then I rather be aggresive than passive. We are not cats, we we are humans who needs connection. My whole life i was neutral/passive, who cannot talk to girl becaue of enormous shyness running from eryone when noticed he wants to make some contact with me, hidden in my fuucking cave whole life, what I got from it? Addiction to maturbation/porn, games, gambling broke without money. Fuuck this. I would say we are much more like dogs not cats.

 

I like cats

(derailing from the topic)

 

I think it is great that I am returning to my natural human state once I leave PMO and MO. I feel like our society has been bogged down so much through technology, social pressures, misconceptions of development sexually (especially through PMO) that we have lost touch with our natural human behaviors and emotions. I've been off PMO for a while and I'm noticing changes in my behaviors such as being more social and making eye contact. I made eye contact with this chick today and for some reason, without even planning on it I smiled (ohshit.jpeg). I thought I was screwed like for a second I panicked and had my eyes widen like crazy, but she smiled back for some reason and I felt like a fucking boss. It was like a "did I just fucking do that" moment. PMO has definitely made me lose touch with my emotions and natural human contact.

 

It is true that eye contact is used as a way to show aggression but it is also a way how to build connection and attract attention. It's like opening a window of potential communication.

Have you notice that it's easier to start conversation with somebody when your eyes meet? You feel the connection, like you both would be on a same phone line. While if you look at somebody and they don't look at you, you feel like on one part of a phone line the sound is cut off. Young children do this, they won't know you hear them if you don't look them in the eyes, yet they do not feel threatened. Even cats stare at you in the eyes when they want something. My cat just sits and stares at me, and when I look at him he usually makes a sound. Sometimes it's hard to tell what he says cos I don't speak in cat, but it's clear sign that he wants something.

So eye contact it's so much more than just showing aggressiveness. It's a gateway to communication. Eyes are like a projectors of laser beams that direct energy. That energy can be threatening and overwhelming or it can be gentle and pleasant. And what kind of energy you will direct will depend on what kind of state you are in. People can literary feel that. If you look at somebody with love they will receive pleasant energy. If you look at somebody with lust they will receive that lust, and THAT might be creepy to them. Of course unless they are open to it, like girl in a club that is also horny for you as well. But not random people on street. Same goes for just staring simply for the sake of staring. Blank stare without any emotion attached to it IS creepy as well. You need to have some type of emotion behind it, something that you know that person will be potentially open to receive. Think of the feeling, take a deep breath, feel the feeling you wanna feel and then look.

Trust me, people can feel that. I could go into some magical explanations about energy transfer, but one scientific reason is that you facial muscles change dramatically depending of what emotion you are feeling. And people see those things. Maybe not even consciously but we do, we are very good at recognizing it. Ever know a guy who was seemingly normal but for whatever reason there were something off about him that you did not like? Couldn't quite trust that guy. There is whole body language involved, but it's mostly his facial expressions. You might not be aware of it but our unconscious mind sees even one milometer change if facial muscles. And people's facial structure is so delicate that eve one millimeter more or less muscle tension here or there can make all the difference between creepy and sexy. It's hard co consciously control all of this so one of the best way is to do it with feeling/emotion, like I mentioned above.

Here, there is a famous technique in photography. I'm sure if there is any of you in photography you know this. It's called squishing. usually it's just couple of millimeter but it can make huge difference - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...nching-really-make-look-beautiful-photos.html

There are many more of those subtle but extremely important changes. Nose, eyebrow, lip, forehead muscles and so on, and so forth...

 

I think I will now abuse this new technique. Thank You.

 

Nice post, Shugi. I always suck at taking photos

 

Looking at strangers and smiling at them in my experience only works if you know the person e.g spoke to them once before or if they are from the same school as you and you happen to see the in public, not with strangers unless they are old ladies who like that sort of stuff.

It is if you hold it for a long time and have a moody face, it is aggresive when you are mad dogging someone which usually means you want to fight them so don't do that lol. When I'm walking around and someone is walking towards me I'll hold eye contact for about 2 seconds then glance forward again, idc if they look or not I do it for practise since I used to always look down at the floor like a pushover. If there are a group of guys or somebody who looks sketchy walking towards me I make sure to hold eye contact until they look away then I'll glance forward instead, tells them not to fuck with me and that I'm ready if they try anything.

If someone makes direct eye contact with me it makes me happy since someone is noticing my existence and I'm not invisible, I'd rather someone made direct eye contact with me than pretend I didn't exist. You can tell when it's an aggressive eye contact and when It's just a curiosity eye contact, you can't just call all direct eye contact aggressive, as long as you have some social intelligence you can figure it out. That said, if somebody a lot bigger than me is giving me direct eye contact I'll look back with no reaction, then I'll glance forward, idk how to explain it just practise at it and use other peoples reactions as an indicator of whether you are doing it right or have something to adjust.

As for making eye contact with girls, I don't bother. Unless I'm interested in the girl or I know them from my course or classes I won't acknowledge their existence. No point in looking at girls I'm not interested in. If you are crossing paths with a girl, instead of looking down just glance at her then look straight ahead, or just look straight ahead. I find it fun to look at their outfit and appearance to figure out how much effort she put into going out today (I get bored walking home from the gym). Most girls wear the same stuff so I'm interested when they wear something I've never seen before and it catches my attention. Looking down shows weakness and submission, learn to keep your head up and shoulders back looking straight forward, it shows confidence and you are less likely to be targeted by bullies and thugs.

Random eye contact is great and when you both share eye contact you can feel the connection as you are both acknowledging eachother's existence. You are just doing it wrong, doesn't matter though keep working on it, when I first started I was terrible at it and definitely creeped out a lot of people, now I'm fine at it and it's natural. Keep practising it you'll improve.

 

Coudnt agree more, I wish I knew better english that so I could express myself more freely, you described exactly my thoughts in nice style.

 

Damned if you do and damned if you don't.

 

Eye conact depends much on state which you are in. If im in bad mood, tired, angry, nervousness im not making eye contact at all because I would pass my negative energy towards others and i dont like it. But if im really feeling good, healthy, good mood then i feel like i want to share my live energy with everyone around me and practically making eye conact with everyone i met on the street but still im struggling to start conversation with stranger as first for example in train, shop etc.

 

I walked past an older woman today and just happened to look in her direction, not directly at her. In that fraction of a second when we walked past each other I noticed she looked up at me, we made eye contact and she smiled. As I walked past at the time I thought it was pretty strange because she doesn't even know me but when I gave it more thought...It's just someone being friendly and I felt a little stupid because now I'm wondering why the hell I thought it was strange.

Then again when I try to smile and make eye contact my friends say it looks like I'm doing my pervy face hahaha