Feel like giving up

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by GG2002, Apr 2, 2017.

  1. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    To me the damage from his fapping and lying is already done, and I don't think I can come back from it. He now has stopped allegedly but instead of looking at porn he ogles every woman that walks by, I'm embarrassed and it already kills what little self esteem I had left. He can't orgasm with me and now he's starting to have actual ED. He feels nothing during sex and goes soft but I know he could fap to porn in two seconds. I'm starting to dread sex with him. It's painful it takes forever and all it does is remind me that's he's not attracted to me, that I'm a failure and will never be enough for him and do I don't want sex anymore. I suggested he just Fapp and allow me to find a man who actually wants to be with me. It hurts a lot but I just realize now whatever he needs in bed I can't do or be it. I think it's time to give up.
     
  2. It's not a problem with you. It's his problem. I know how deeply this cuts at our self-esteem. You didn't cause this by not being what he needs. Sex addicts always need more --- more intensity, more shock, more thrill (it gives them more of the brain chemicals they crave so much).

    Heck - I don't want to be THAT woman who always thinks i need to be more to feed his addiction.

    Does he even "own" it yet? Is he in recovery?

    Sounds like you are at a crossroads. It's hard. Some partners have reasons for staying and supporting the addict in recovery. Some need to take a new route to 1st heal themselves and then try to find whatever type of relationship they need to feel fulfilled.
     
    Bnnybnny and i_wanna_get_better1 like this.
  3. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I don't think he's owned it yet but he thinks he has and that's our whole battle. He realizes he did wrong but he wants to move on from it now. He also wants to have the same trusting loving woman he had before his lies were discovered and does not understand that getting her back will take a very long time. He fully recognizes that I am a changed person and he does not like it. He took for granted what he had. He says well if you do not trust me what's the point? And he says he will just leave cause he can't tolerate constantly being criticized but he's not! I told him nicely twice to please stop ogling women at the event it happened at and he kept doing it to the point that my Mother who was with us noticed. Then he had the gall to say he did not know he was doing it! When I asked him if he recalled me telling him he got angry flew off the handle and left. He then said if I paid more attention to him then he would not do that. Bull! So he wants me to be all lovey dovey with him and that would stop it? Hello gaslighting. He had not seen me for two weeks due to work travel and will not even give me a second look but he's ogling women? I know it's not me but it still hurts you want your man to turn his head when he sees you.
     
    fuzzywaz likes this.

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