Feel like i've thrown my life and time away

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by neoaps, Nov 10, 2018.

  1. neoaps

    neoaps Fapstronaut

    Hi, where do i start. I'm 29 now and only ever really had 1 or 2 actual relationships mainly due to my choosing to my pied which has taken over my life, i'm trying very very hard to correct it and i'm definitely getting better to the point where I've only seen it once or twice in the last month (them being the relapses) and I've noticed improvements but i cant help but think I've thrown a big portion of my life away to it and i'm struggling to cope with that. I'm the type of person that on the surface you couldn't picture someone like me being in this situation as i'm always getting told i'm a laid back and confident guy but in my mind i don't ever let it go further because of this problem, it's like there is a virtual line in my head that i know i wont allow myself to cross due to fear and not being able to function properly and I've been looking at porn that long now i panic over how long it'll actually take me to recover from it.

    All of this is weighing me down constantly to the point where i cant sleep properly anymore and is constantly on my mind that I've thrown my life away and done it to myself and i'll never get the time back to put things right.

    I don't really know where to go from here, i'm definitely trying and improving but i don't know how long it'll take, the back of my mind says years which puts even more fear into me, like i said i don't really know where to go from here i just wanted to finally air all of that out somewhere

  2. Sharksvv

    Sharksvv Fapstronaut

    I’ll be honest and not sugar coat it because I think you deserve the truth, it might very well take 1 full year because that’s how long it took with me to cure my porn induced erectile dysfunction (pied) you have not thrown your life away you still have time to recover and beat this.

    It’s going to be a battle and it’s going to take some time yes, but you’ll never get there if you’re simply afraid of how long it’ll take, the time is going to pass regardless of what you do, so why not do something about it while that time does pass.

    Good luck.
    Coolyorky likes this.
  3. Coolyorky

    Coolyorky Fapstronaut

    Well done mate!
    After 63 days hard mode my erections are back strong. Pretty sure I still have a way to go though. How old are you and has the pied completely gone?
  4. Marcelo48

    Marcelo48 Fapstronaut

    I'm going to be blunt with you... Yes it's true, you have wasted at least the sexual life of your 20's for what you've told us. If it makes you feel better you are far from being the only one though, many of the people (me included) of our age group around here feel the same way. I know it sucks but you have to accept that what you've said it's true, it will make you feel like shit but that pain is necessary to go forward in life. Despite it, acceptance will make you feel calmer, sleep better and end your fears. That's the beauty of it.

    After acceptance, then you can focus on the rest of you life. You still have many years to live but you'll have to decide how to live them. Will you live the rest of your life with pied, or are you going to suffer NoFap for a relatively short time in order to live the rest of your days like you desire? Your choice. How much of NoFap will you need to get better? I don't know, but even one year or two of suckiness and hard work is way better than a lifetime of what you already have.

    Good luck.
  5. neoaps

    neoaps Fapstronaut

    I'm definitely going to beat it, but the realisation of these things are what set you back as well i think. I probably have, but i wish i could meet someone who has the same issues as us face to face and be able to help each other through it in person, even i would've lied in the past and acted like this was bizarre if i'd heard it from someone to avoid embarrassment. The problem is none of us would ever admit it to our guy friends almost never. I know this is what this site is for and thank god for it but it would be really nice in real life if you had that luxury to, i think i'd have gotten a lot further with it now.
  6. Sharksvv

    Sharksvv Fapstronaut

    I’m 26 now and yes my pied is gone entirely. Being with my girlfriend I know for certain that I will get it up and keep it up, I don’t even have to worry about racing to put the condom on before it goes away. It’s hard work that is all worth it now.
  7. Taxx Emmer

    Taxx Emmer Fapstronaut

    Air it out, it will help. I have exactly the same feelings; I feel as though I have wasted 5 years of my life. But I am learning more and more about the terrible effects pmo has had on me and I learn from it.
    Look at it this way; you see what PMO has done to you, and you realize the wasted time; learn from this, and do not dwell on what you've done. You can do nothing to change the past, but you really can learn from these experiences and make changes to keep repeating bad habits in the future. I know, it's not easy, I've relapsed countless times, but each time I learn a little more about myself and try to avoid that behavior in the future.
    Don't be too hard on yourself for feel8ng liked you've wasted time in the past, just look on it as a period of time you can now learn from.
    Best of luck.
    Feel free to respond with your thoughts; I have similar thoughts and need to keep from tearing myself up each day from past mistakes. Just gotta learn from them.
  8. Bad_hombre

    Bad_hombre Fapstronaut

    We all are so messed up

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