Dear all Two months ago I told my wife that I had a serious issue with P. I did it daily. I found P when I was young and was hooked. When I got older, life happened and I got into a depression. I was alone at home, nothing to do. So obviously my addiction got bigger and bigger. I got out of that depression with help of therapy. But I had not yet realised I was a PA. So years after my depression I still used P as a flight mechanism for when I was feeling bad. At some point I realised things where not rigt. I was an addict. I admitted it to myself and the same day to my wife. She is the best. She reacted super supportive, loving... Obviously I felt shame. And she was also hurt in a way, eventhough she reacted in the best way someone can hope for. I go to a therapist for this PA. But still I find myself struggling with the temptation. Since I told my wife about the PA, I had a streak of 1,5 months but when I suddenly felt down for a couple of days I failed and watched it again a couple of times. Now I looked up some video's on YT about what P does to your brain, so now I understand my problems. It doens't make it easier, but it makes it more clear why I have this issue. Long story short: I'm trying to quit P. Not M, because my journey is to learn that M stands loose from P and can be a spiritual and positive something. It's just P that's occupying my brain. I don't have an urge to M, but I have an urge for P. I hope my journey will be succesful. Thanks for the support and thanks for sharing your stories. It helps to realise we're not alone in this journey. G
