Findom/Femdom ADDICTION (again, again and AGAIN!)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Nico56799, Nov 30, 2018.

  1. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    [Walk of SHAME incoming]

    Dear guys,

    After reading a bunch of posts about Findom aka Financial domination, I decided to open myself and briefly summarize my own story. Thank you for taking the time to read this thread and sorry for my poor English.

    My addiction to (financial) domination started 10 years ago, when I was 17 and evolved years after years until I found what I really crave for : Findom/Homework slavery. Sometimes, it disappears for few weeks because I forced it too much but then, it reappears and it stays few months again, and again, and again... This is like a vicious circle that I want to STOP.

    Addictions:

    - Talking to attractive, young and super hot girls (unattainable in real life)
    - Financial domination (giving my money to younger and attractive girls)
    - Homework slavery (doing homework for younger and attractive girls)
    - Domination/Humiliation session (being excited too see how bad and immoral they can be => the badder she is, the greater I feel. For instance, I convinced a girl, after many weeks of intensive and intimate chats, that I could play the blue whale game which leads to suicide. She accepted in exchange of a huge amount of money. This was CRAZY but once we reached that step, I was so shocked by her reaction that I stop for a moment and I was not attracted anymore).

    In sum, I am totally addicted when I can see a young and beautiful girl who can dominate me and/or USE/ABUSE ME. Furthermore, being MEAN, RUDE, HARSH or CRUEL is very exciting BUT only in the theory (when we chat/call) because when we cross the practical line (meetings, payment), I mostly cancel it and I lose attraction. This is also why I talked to thousand of them but only paid few ones (I am a true "Time Waster"). In other words, I have sick phantasms but when these meet the reality, they disappear.

    To "satisfy" my needs, I have many accounts on Twitter, Instagram, Tinder, Facebook and other website where I can find these girls. I got blocked so many times, but I recreate another account, etc.

    Most importantly, I always have this submissive position with girls but I always have the feeling that I control the situation BUT I give them the impression to dominate me... Once she is too bossy and force me to "pay to play", I cut the conversation, unless she REALLY deserves it (10/10, young and immoral as hell).

    Currently, I have sent approximately 20 times small amounts (+/- 15$ each time) to different girls (+/- 350$ in total). Not to be satisfied by paying but to continue the chatting process and go deeper in the weird phantasm part (to see how bad she can be). However, I have also done a lot of homework for them, for free! So, doing the homework is boring BUT chatting with her and seeing what kind of strategy she will use to force me to work IS EXCITING.

    Negative consequences:

    - I can spend a full day texting/chatting/seeking... completely addicted to my computer and unable to do anything else that satisfying my sexual urges.
    - I feel ashamed, guilty, useless and sad
    - I have strong anxiety/social phobia 2 days after a huge day of excitement
    - I have a decreased self-esteem
    - I have 0 libido with other girls

    Additional informations :

    - I have a good life. I have money, I have some friends, I had girlfriends, I am not too ugly. However, I am a very solitary person, even if I can be very sociable.
    - I have done NoFap in the past for 3 month and I fall in love...
    - Nobody knows about this strange fetish.

    Objectives :

    - I WANT to stop this addiction.


    Thank you for your advice.

    Nicolas
     
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  2. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Man, you really can't complain about your libido, social anxiety or self esteem if you keep doing like this. For real, how could you have high libido or good self esteem acting like this?
     
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  3. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your answer, phwrancesco.

    Actually, I am not complaining about the negative consequences (e.g., social anxiety, low libido, isolation). I am just stating the fact that these negatives outcomes lead me to change my behaviour and this is why I wrote this post: HOW pratically can I stop this kind of weird addiction. Is there a specific method for findom addict?

    Nico
     
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  4. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your feedback, Troubled_Teen.

    Unfortunately, I stopped many times (and sometimes for few months!) but, I always get back into it. I am looking for concrete suggestions to overcome this problem.
     
  5. IWantToChange:')

    IWantToChange:') Fapstronaut

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    Oh wow I have this too.. I just don't know how to react about it or how to think about it.

    But stopping masturbation or anything sexual is good and the right choice to make except for making love to your life partner. :)
     
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  6. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    you can definitely stop cold turkey from now :)
     
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  7. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you IWantToChange for your response. What is your method to avoid a sexual urge, then?
     
  8. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    This is an excellent point. I realised that "moderating" my addiction IS NOT working.
    Thank you for this suggestion. It is clear that when I will be ready to stop, I will totally stop it.
     
  9. IWantToChange:')

    IWantToChange:') Fapstronaut

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    To be honest, I think this problem means that you have a cheap and a bad relation to certain people who can manipulate you. I think it's also related to sleep maybe? If we have a good sleep (sleep early, wake up early and sleep for a good amount of time), I think it will remove this sexual attraction.

    For example, and I'm still young, but my mom keeps disrespecting me and she tries to manipulate me by the way she talks and it's so annoying.. When I was younger I always used the computer to play and other stuff and I was always stressed so yeah.. It's just because she wants some power since she doesn't have any or something like that lol. Idk?
     
  10. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the advice, Troubled_Teen. I know that when I open myself on Internet, I won't get only sweet words. I can select constructive information as well as toxic comments. This thread offers me already a good idea: Stopping ALL instead of moderating my addiction (which is not working).
     
  11. IWantToChange:')

    IWantToChange:') Fapstronaut

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    But you can't convince yourself that you DON'T have that attraction, because we have it haha. You know you have that attraction and it's ok that you can't do anything about it.. and then it will disappear I think.

    Like, I used to push myself, especially for abstaining from sexuality, by convincing myself that I will STOP and I WON'T do it, but I think it's a bad idea tbh. I have to admit to myself that I AM WEAK lol, so I always stay alert that I might fall :)

    AND IT WORKS YAY!
     
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  12. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    Two very good points in your message !

    1. You make an association between sleep and sexual attraction. Can you develop your idea? I don't sleep well, I go sleep late and I do to much computer.
    2. Maybe you are reproducing the relation with your mother in your addiction (if you are attracted to findom/femdom...).
     
  13. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    Alright! Another good point: Acceptance. So you mean that accepting the fact that I am addicted and dependant is a better way to go that hardly forcing myself to stop? It makes sense.
     
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  14. IWantToChange:')

    IWantToChange:') Fapstronaut

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  15. yyz33

    yyz33 Fapstronaut

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    use all the porn blockers in the world. these include:

    FOr the Phone: 1. Offtime app 2. Spin Browser App
    For the laptop: 1. pluckeye extension 2. Cold turkey 3. k9

    That'll do it.
     
  16. KenAdams010197

    KenAdams010197 Fapstronaut

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    I can totally relate bro
     
  17. Hey everyone from north of the border. Is everyone in this group dealing with findom?? I’ve recently decided to try to find a support group or something as an outlet, my experiences are getting way too real! I’ve read a lot of sad stories about what can happen when this addiction gets out of control and am scared I’m going to be living that sooner than later.

    Always had a foot fetish growing up (which now seems so vanilla compared to some of the shit I’m watching and doing) Eventually found that I quite enjoy being submissive to hot bratty girls, saw bits about findom probably 4 years ago now and always hated the idea, thought it was tasteless and horrible of these ladies. As I slowly progressed with bratty girl Type foot porn the seed was planted. When I was still single started seeing escorts for their feet and I think that actually paying money for it was the start of some kind of demon. Progressed into more intense humiliation Type porn and started following findommes online then finally a couple years ago gave in and sessioned with one. Its just been getting more and more insane over the last year that I can’t handle it any more but I can’t stop it. I now have a beautiful girlfriend, a home, and a baby girl on the way. So much great to live for but have squandered away sooo much money to these women, skipping domme to domme to domme and spending on absolutely nothing for me. If I don’t stop I’m scared everything I’ve worked for in my life and relationship will be gone. Why can’t I stop?! I’ve got a daughter coming in 5 months for god sakes!

    Sorry for the long back up story but is anyone else going through or gone through these things? Any tips to help? Any words of advice or anything would be greatly appreciated
     

  18. Ah shit I’m sorry, didn’t realize this was someone’s thread ‍♂️ Sorry bro don’t wanna hijack your thread lol.
     
  19. Please watch this powerful video:



    this woman has really figured it out.
    What you want, is not really submissive in a loving way. You want to tell a woman what you want her to do to you. You would be still in control, and that is not cool. REAL worship of a woman means doing what SHE wants. And that will be much more healthy.

    So stop fapping about this nonsense and propose to a real woman that you want to be hers.

    another good video by this powerful woman:



    I hope these videos will make you wake up from the porn side of femdom.
     
  20. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    ^I didn't watch those videos, but I caught the title of the youtube channel and that is seriously bizarre. Being "led" by a woman is not healthy for any man, and I doubt it stays loving for long. Probably not good advice for a guy struggling with femdom or findom and the loving angle is one often used by those types of bandits.

    There are much cheaper forms of masochism than findom out there. Don't throw your money away you may need it someday and if you must, give it to a good cause, not to some vial human trash.
     
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