Hi all, I wanted to take this step in the recovery process and write my first post. My goal is to go 30 days without masturbating to porn, and from there do another 30 days, then another. I'm looking at this as a long term transformation to a life free of porn. I finally decided that porn is something I just do not want in my life, and I'm looking forward to embracing life with more awareness, compassion and strength. A little more about my story: I have been using for 10 years, well before my first sexual experiences. The fantasy world of internet porn has definitely impacted my relationships with women, although I never admitted that to myself at the time. My main problem has been more of an emotional detachment than physical performance. When experiencing stressful situations in relationships, I would dull my emotions with porn instead of actually relating with the real life situation. PMO was just so easy and felt good, or so I thought. But now, my girlfriend feels very hurt by my porn use and it has been a huge issue between us for several months. It feels very painful to know I've hurt her so bad. I thought I could use it and still be attracted to and love her, but she feels betrayed (and takes issue with my libido). She points to a pattern of me not making her feel sexy, which she relates to my addiction. And that's where I'm at right now- finally acknowledging that this is an addiction that has been damaging my relationships. I'm hopeful for a recovery and that cutting porn out of my life will help me be grateful for my relationship with a beautiful, awesome woman. Thanks in advance for all the support!
Well, my story is pretty similar to yours, just that I don't have a girlfriend XD I'm in my 9th day right now and I too plan on lasting 30 days, then hopefully I will keep going. Is this your first day?
Hey! Good to know there are people out there in the same boat. I guess that's why we're here, right? So I'm starting my accounting from October 1, although there were a few days PMO free at the end of September too. Figured that I might as well do a whole month since the plan is to stop altogether. But god damn is it a challenge. How is your challenge going Civ5Fanatic?
