First time doing something like this

I've been addicted to porn and masturbation for 12 years, going on 13. About 6 or 7 years ago I realized it was a problem. I've been trying to quit ever since with my longest stretch of success being a 6 month period. It's been a big reason for my divorce and it's been the reason for a lot of my depressive moods I find myself in. I'm a very self motivated individual but this area of my life seems to be the unconquerable beast. I recently relapsed and have been back into porn and masurbation for the last two weeks almost daily. Yesterday I found myself setting up for another go at it and realized I really didn't even feel like turning on the computer and touching myself... but nonetheless I still followed through as if I owed it to my addiction. I've turn to my friends for help but with their own busy lives and my ability to seem "good" it gets looked over ad forgotten. This forum is the first time doing something like this. I'm hoping some of you guys can help me kill this part of me that I hate so much

 

Thanks for the reply man. Your encouraging words gave me a rush of excitement to actually fight back again instead of making some half hearted pledge to do better "next time." I can see that this method of accountability already has some benefit. I can't call my friends in the wee hours of the morning like I can post to guys like you on this site. Let's kick this habit dude because honestly it really is pretty silly to be addicted to touching our own private parts.