Hello all, I am 52 years old and have had a PMO problem for as long as I can remember. I had some pleasant, and unpleasant, experiences early on after puberty which may have triggered things and probably made me think I was normal, but in retrospect that wasn't the case at all. I have always lived in a sexual fantasy world, I think I may actually have a subconcious fear of women and tend to objectify them in a sexual manner. I realise now that I have sabotaged a lot of relationships because of this, and hurt people who trusted me. So a lot of regrets and a lot of shame here. With the advent of the internet I discovered an endless supply of porn to fulfill every fantasy, and to create new ones. However I found myself being drawn into the ever darker world of porn to get the same effects. My life started to spiral out of control and not only was my job suffering (I would rather spend hours on the internet at home edging), but my marriage too. I have already had one divorce because of this (not that I knew it at the time) and I do not want another one as I love my wife very much, but already I have problems with a normal sex life. What brought me here was that I started taking ever bigger risks to get my high. I started acting out my fantasies... meeting people on sex classified sites who would let me masturbate in front of them, masturbating on sites with video chat rooms, picking up prostitutes in broad daylight, and the final kicker was that I started masturbating in public, leaving the curtains open so that the neighbours could see me, and even in my car in the traffic. I reached the point where I was seriously considering suicide when a close friend pointed out that I may have an addiction and referred me to people for advice. I now know that I have a massive addiction to PMO and I am here to get help, advice, and hopefully support. I have now been in reboot for 15 days and aim for another 15 days. I know it's not enough but I am away from home on business and will be seeing my wife again in 15 days. I hope that I will have some semblance of a normal libido by then. Not sure how I'm going to handle that one! I am feeling better already though and I can see a change in my perceptions of women and the world in general. I have more confidence in myself and my self image is better. I know it's going to be a long haul however as I will need to learn to control the urges. Thanks for listening.