Fresh Meat

Hello! It's nice to meet you all. I'm really excited to join this community. I realized that sometimes addiction can be fought through the help of other people. That is why I have decided to join this forum after about half a year of lurking.

You can call me by my username, Xaja. I am about to turn 17 and have been in a PMO addiction for about a year and a half. I started around the mid October of 2017. What scares me is that I didn't start of with P, but rather I started with pictures of my female friends that I fantasize about. I think this is really dangerous because I am able to have easy access to their pictures via Instagram or chat profile pictures. I find it really disgusting and horrible. I wanted to change.

MO started as a curiosity. I wanted to know what all the hype was about. And in all honesty, it felt good. But, the effects that came after were unexpected. I faced difficulty in focusing, especially in my school work. I was confused. People in the internet claimed that it made them calmer and think faster. I think it's a lie. Until now, I would face difficulty in reading a passage of SAT text, which is bad considering I am going to take the test this May.

Other than that, PMO made me feel a distance with my religion. I felt distant towards my creator, and I felt as if I am betraying him, ruining all the gifts He have given to me. I aim to stop this before it ruins my whole life. That is why I decided to join this forum.

I plan to go through Hard Mode. It makes sense since I do not have any sexual partner. My longest streak was, embarrassingly, only 1 week. I aim to finally cut my BS and finish 90 days of Hard Mode NoFap.

I hope I can actively participate in this community, whilst helping others in the process.