Fresh start

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Aneto, Jun 4, 2020.

  1. Aneto

    Aneto Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone, I've just joined to NoFap, I am 29 years old and I live in Madrid in Spain, so be patient with my English.

    I thought that watching porn on the internet was normal so I had never wondered if I had control over it or not because for me it was something that I did every day from the age of 17 or 18, although I knew it was not a good thing for me. I used to watch porn regularly, but if I look back it was too much, although there were seasons when I didn't watch it at all, on holidays or weekends, especially because I didn't have the triggers that led me to consume it, it was something that I was unaware of and also the consumption of pornography hadn't caused me any trouble in my relationships or at least I wasn't aware of it until recently.

    I have realized that I have a serious problem, much greater than I thought, after a series of readings

    It had been a long time since I had checked how my preferences had been changing, the escalation in my porn use that takes the form of greater time viewing or seeking out new genres of porn. I use to need seeing unpleasant things or things that do not attract me at all and that even made me feel bad and disgusting.

    But the real problem, the one that made me search for information, was the loss of sexual interest in my partner and I found that it could be porn-induced, so I decided to stop using internet pornography and focus on her. Of course, it did not work, I endured for a week and the relapse was even worse. I tried again a few more times, but it was getting worse and worse. So I gave up, but I decided to reduce the time that I used to watch porn and softer what I saw. I was trying to convince myself that I would overcome it, but it has not been the case.

    Yesterday I resolved to avoid that trash from ruling my life, and I said NO!

    Greetings to all and anyone who wants to contact me is welcome.

    Hola a todos acabo de unirme a NoFap, tengo 29 años y vivo en Madrid y yo pensaba que ver porno en internet era normal. Nunca me había planteado si lo tenía controlado o no, pues para mí era algo cotidiano desde los 17 o 18 años, aunque en el fondo sabía que no era algo bueno. Recurría a él con cierta regularidad, viendolo con perspectivada demasiada, pese a que había temporadas en que ni me acordaba de él, vacaciones o fines de semana, sobre todo porque no tenía los detonantes que me llevaban a consumirlo, algo que yo desconocía y además no me había causado problemas en mis relaciones o por lo menos yo no he sido consciente de ello hasta hace poco.

    Tras una serie de lecturas, he ido uniendo los puntos y me he dado cuenta que tengo un serio problema, mucho mayor de lo que yo pensaba.

    Hacía tiempo que había comprobado como mis preferencias habían ido cambiando y cada vez más rápido, llegando a necesitar ver cosas desagradables o que no me atraen en absoluto y que icluso me hacían sentir mal y de daban asco, pero no voy a entrar en más detalles.

    Pero el verdadero problema, el que me hizo buscar información, fue la pérdida del interés sexual por mi pareja y encontré que podría deberse al consumo de pornografía, así que decidí dejar de consumir pornografía en internet y centrarme en ella. Por supuesto no funcionó, aguanté una semana y la recaída fué aún peor. Volví a intentarlo un par de veces más, pero es que cada vez era peor. Así que me rendí, pero decidí tratar de reducir la exposición contralando que veía y cuando lo veía, tratando de convencerme de que lo iría reduciendo, pero no ha sido así y menos en estas circustancias de confinamiento.

    Ayer tomé la resolución de evitar que esa basura gobierne mi vida, pero pensé en hacerlo una última vez antes de empezar y me dije ¡NO! hasta aquí.

    De momento no he tenido el valor de hablarlo con mi pareja, por miedo, vergüenza y más motivos, pero por lo menos me he acercado a vosotros, espero que me ayudeis a crecer y en definitiva a ser una mejor persona.

    Un saludo a todos y cualquiera que quiera ponerse en contacto comigo es bienvenido.
     
    Deleted Account and Hardcandy like this.
  2. Hi @Aneto, all the best to you! If you want to join 'The Matrix' challenge click here ---> 'The Matrix' <---
     
    Aneto and | Nico | like this.
  3. Welcome to the community, glad you could join us :) anything we can assist you with let us know, wish you all the best on your journey, take care.
     
    Coffee Candy, One Eyed Owl and Aneto like this.
  4. Welcome to NoFap!!!
     
    Coffee Candy and Aneto like this.
  5. Aneto

    Aneto Fapstronaut

    Thank you for the welcoming @Mowgli , @One Eyed Owl and Nico

    I'm on my second day, this morning I was sad because of the idea of leave P forever, but suddenly a feeling of disgust has quickly invaded me and the pity has gone. It really wasn't anything serious, I just want to put it in writing.

    This afternoon before a work meeting I had a bad time but once it started the craving gone away. I imagine that as the days go by it will be worse.

    Now I'm glad of being strong and overcome it.
     

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