Frustration...

Lately I feel like I don't know anything about my life... Neither about my vocation, nor about my love life, nor about my job. As it reguards my technical skills with the musical instrument, I'm glad to say that I'm quite improving myself, and as I can see the perfectioning course I'm attending is bearing fruits. I probably can say the same with the calisthenics, and I'm very glad of it as well. But despite all these good things, in the deepest of my heart I feel like I've got a lot of unanswered questions about my life, and as the time passes by I feel more unsecure about myself, my life. Maybe it's been always like this, but now it feels like I cannot accept anymore all the past shit and I can't help it, I'm not able enough to ignore that something is always missing to me...
I found a girl that I know since I was a child and - not gonna tell how it happend - I understood that she's the one of my life, the one that I'm not afraid to pass the rest of my life with. But I have to face that she's got a boyfriend and she's not fine with him even if she doesn't know it, she's slave of so many things and this is probably what causes me a lot of suffering, and I have to fight for it.
Reguarding my job, I'm always looking for some opportunities, but all I do is kepping on studying crazy every day, from 5 to 7 or 8 hours a day, and receive refuses from the institutions where I send my application for candidating me in the auditions and competitions...
I feel like I'm running wild but I don't know where... Probably I should be more faithful in God, who's the only one who can make my life so much better than every purpose of mine...

We're not owner of ourselfs, we were not born because of us, and we're not supposed to know when it's time to pass away from this life...