I always believed that in life we each have our own individual lessons that we need go through and learn from to become better people. Some lessons we don't learn so we have to experience it over and over until we get it. Listen you have to forgive yourself your not the same person you were than, today. You have to forgive yourself for your sake. I made girls cry I treated them very poorly at times and I wrote down my regrets and forgave myself for my past actions. Thinking about her how you wish you could have her back and do things over is a losing battle. We can't go back we have to accept what we done and move on. We are not our past. I wrote a forgiveness letter to myself and past girls on how I mistreated them and myself. The thing is you don't send it out though. You can burn it or throw it in a river. It's very therapeutic.like i said you are not that person anymore so let it go and move on . She's moved on from it so should you. You got this ! Something you said that reminds me of what I said was how you don't know what she saw in you. It might be some inner work you want to look into man.try to find the root cause of that and rid yourself from it Also learning to develop a abudance mindset is very valuable. Just because it doesn't work out with one women you know that their are other amazing women out thier for you to get to know. This mindset could take a while to sink in depending on the person but it's so worth it
Maybe these difficult lessons we have to learn are working toward a greater good. I'd like to think so. Forgiving myself is hard and will take time but I'm working on it. I started writing a forgiveness letter and I'm getting sad all over again. I know the root cause of my feelings of unworthiness and I'm working on it but I think I need some one on one time with a therapist or something. I know, there are plenty of fish in the sea and all that. I'm very open to meeting new women but this thread got me thinking about my past relationship because it reminded me of how I saw getting a girlfriend as this solution to some of my problems. I guess the regret is what's killing me most.
Seriously man! Your post opened up my wounds of insecurity, inferiority complex and neediness which was a remnant of being bullied in school and abused childhood. I think besides my HardMode challenge, I must work on resolving the issues. Thank you very much.
Your story touched my, and I feel now and realize like i've lost and wasted a lot time, and here's why, to start Im 20, never had sex before a girfriend, or friends or and sometimes (for a lot of time) I do what you used to do.... "fantasize about them and create stories about them in my head"... But the different thing with me is that, my dreams change everything, every time I picture myself in the future making my dreams true, I forget about that...I guess my dreams SAVE me. I've been a huge dreamer since I was 16 (When I realized what I wanned to do with my life) I think everything start once you wake up, in the couples of days i've been on NoFap, when I woke up picturing myself in the places that I would love to be in the future, doing what I want to do, the all day goes different for me, it goes really great...It goes amazing... but...I If I wake up like this "fantasize about them and create stories about them in my head" and stay on bed for a while creating more stories, the all goes like that...creating and creating more stories and I dont like it when I feel Im wasting my time with that...and I go to my source of happiness: MUSIC (and picture myself making my dreams, listening to it) Thank you for sharing and make realize that I dont need to keep wasting my time, FUCK!!! It feels great now!!!! Thanks a lot for that...
I'm 26 now and for most of my life maybe up until last year is when I stopped engaging in fantasy. jeeze I would lay in bed and fantasize about girls I had crushes on in school and create all these relationships with them in my head. and when social media blew up my fantasizing got worse. I would fantasize about girls on Facebook who I never met and don't even know what there voices even sounded like. I was not living in reality. this feeling felt so comfortable I would do it in bed and not want to get out of bed. i felt it was harmless until I found nofap in 2015. cheers to not wasting time anymore!!
I think therapy would be a good idea or maybe seeing a school counsler if your still in school. Check out this youtube video. I think it will open some insights for you. One line he says in it is life is 10 percent of what happened and 90 percent of how you react to what happand. Btw congrats on 22 days no pmo keep going !
Take a look at yourself in the mirror and see if you like what you see.If you think you are not good enough and you are far from good looking then something needs to change here.Also does your behavior reflect who you are?If for example you think that you are a nice person but your behavior says otherwise...well you get the point In the end if you don't feel comfortable about the way you look and behave then no one will be.The moment you feel good about the way you look and act that is the moment when everything changes because in the end if you don't love yourself then nobody ever will
It means have some self-respect and don't compromise it by being a cuck/beta male. You don't have to act like a jerk, but don't kowtow to women or put pussy on a pedestal.
i feel all the negatives you suggested and i have not been in a relationship, and thats all i want, to be loved validated, cared for, if you get what i mean? just appreciated or something, just not alone so yeah
if you don't resolve those inner issues getting into a relaontiship is only going to amplify those insecurities, emotions etc QUOTE="FindingAName, post: 896262, member: 134786"]i feel all the negatives you suggested and i have not been in a relationship, and thats all i want, to be loved validated, cared for, if you get what i mean? just appreciated or something, just not alone so yeah[/QUOTE]
