Getting crushes on people...

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Runtilmylegsdropoff, Apr 14, 2017.

  1. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    One thing I noticed about being attracted to women is that I have to stop and remind myself that just because I may find her physically attractive, I don't yet know anything about her. I don't know her values, her personality, her quirks, or even her negative qualities. All I know is that the first impressions I have is that she's very pleasant to look at.
    NoBrainer and HopefulChristian like this.
  2. I'm the exact same way... I'm the guy who sees a beautiful girl out somewhere and starts imagining our wonderful future together... meanwhile in real life I can't even muster up the courage to say something to her to even have a chance of getting to know her haha
  3. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    I start getting ahead of myself sometimes.
    HopefulChristian likes this.
  4. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

    That's an important insight. With some practice it will become easier to remember :) And then you will also be more relaxed and able to talk to them if you like to.
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2017
  5. John84

    John84 Fapstronaut

    Worst also you may overlook redflags they have because your infatuation with them. Some women are losers too. You'll realize later you dodged a bullet..
  6. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

    This is really a problem not with women, but with fantasy. It's not the woman walking by that's emitting some magic force that makes you horny. When we fantasize in our heads a scenario with her we are using escape behavior. We use fantasy to escape things like depression, anxiety, feelings of inferiority, anger, frustration, boredom, etc.... When you practice recognizing fantasy in your life you can learn to stop it. When you stop using fantasy you'll see that you aren't just a dog with no control over what triggers you. You actually DO have control, and when you learn to exercise that control, you feel so much better about yourself and about life.
    HopefulChristian likes this.
  7. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Sounds like you already know what the solution is. ;)
    Runtilmylegsdropoff likes this.
  8. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    I can well relate to this but with some guys - rather than women - heh heh.

    Although on the OTHER hand, some people think that if someone is good-looking they MUST also be a jerk, which is not necessarily true either.

    But, yeah, I understand that wanting to put the brakes on when I get a crush, put the brakes on those strong feelings while I get to know the actual person. (And finding it VERY hard to DO that and not let my feelings run away with me.)
    Runtilmylegsdropoff likes this.

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