Getting rid of pmo––and the godforsaken furry fandom

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by theosan, Sep 23, 2018.

  1. theosan

    theosan Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone, my name is Theosan, you can just call me Theo.

    To make my story short, I was a part of the furry fandom for my entire puberty. I slowly indulged more and more into its sexual habits. Then around my 21st I became a christian, had about 30-40 days of purity before falling back into my most painful addiction—pornography. That was in 2013. Now I'm 26, and I am still struggling with it, and am already receiving help irl from people around me.
    "You can get a man out of the jungle, but you can't get the jungle out of the man" is a quote that I'd like to put here for very obvious reasons. It is so very difficult to get the images out of my brain. I want to quit so badly, and I even see myself slowly sliding downhill from when I first became a christian. The worst thing is that it has consumed my sexual attraction to mere drawings and stories of... well, let me withhold stimulating your fantasy. I feel guilty because of it, but I know Christ is my saviour. Yet still I trample the thing he did for me by going back every now and then.

    You may know that the furry fandom consists mostly of gay people. During my years, I have grown into liking gay eroticism, but I know it is not in my nature to like it. Better said: I am not gay, and I do not want to go that way any longer. I want a wife and kids, but am also ready to face the fact that pornography has ruined that chance for me, and am willing to take up responsibility.

    In quitting porn I've had some breakthroughs. I have become stronger in my personality and words come to me more easily. Starting this year I've had about 30 days of no-pmo and it was heaven on earth. I want to have another strike like that, and want to work towards freeing myself, with the power God has given me, from the burden that I lay upon myself by doing pmo. I greatly enjoy being accountable to someone in my church, and he is very gracious and patient with me. I hope that on this forum, I may find some keys to unlock the doors of freedom—or better, break the iron bars that hold me in my pmo-prison.

    Anyway, let me say: I AM IN TO WIN, and will participate in this reboot!
    sir_markus likes this.
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

    Welcome Theosan, I'm glad you're here. You aren't alone! There are many Christians here.

    While I was never exactly "into" furry fantasies, I know what you're talking about and I do understand the power of these things; we all have our particular "thing" that is embarrassing, but when it's brought out into the open, it loses a lot of it's power over us. So I have found, at any rate.

    As far as unwelcome memories of images, here's what has helped me. I have prayed specifically, asking our Lord to take those images away, even using my hand to "hand" them over to Jesus. I read about this in a book by Leanne Payne, if memory serves. At any rate, it really seems to help! Very few old images come back to mind, and even when they do, they don't seem to have a lot of power for me. I'm not saying I couldn't give them power, you understand; I know that I could. But it really helps.

    I hope you keep coming back!
    sir_markus likes this.
  3. theosan

    theosan Fapstronaut

    Thank you Septimus! From everything you say, this is exceptionally true:
    I know that my prayer life was dwindling, and I have to keep investing in it to fight against this wretched sin of mine. The idea you give of giving up the images of your mind:
    may be powerfully specific, and I will try to implement that in my prayer life. Thanks again and blessings.
  4. nebukanz

    nebukanz Fapstronaut

    Hi there. Just wanted to say hi. I am not a Christian and don´t fit into any of the mainstream religions, but I do believe in God. I am not used to praying as I have always been more analytically inclined and relied too much on my brain rather than my heart, but after reading so many stories on the subreddit, what strikes me is that among many of the people who have success, a commonality is their devotion/interest to lead a more religious/spiritual life. I absolutely believe praying and meditation will be helpful. I believe because you are devoted to God as well as getting help from fellow Christians you are bound for success. Good luck!
  5. Hi Theosan,

    It’s very inspiring to read your story. I’m fairly new here and undergoing my first 30day challenge trying to reboot, but after that I plan to go to PM mode only since I’m married.

    I just wanted to let you know although some damage may have been done by pornography, I believe God can restore and give back what the locusts have eaten. That’s why He is the Redeemer, His power is unfailing and there is nothing that He cannot do. The mere fact that you are here is proof that you strive to please Him and I believe that pleases God very much. We do one step, but He does a thousand! So don’t worry, I believe God will give you a wife and a family at the right time, because He is good and all good gifts come from Him.

    I believe this network was an answer to my prayers and also consider it a gift that I found NoFap, because it has helped me a lot and I believe I will reach sexual health. I have struggled with things similar to what you describe, have been immersed in porn and shame due to bisexual tendencies, but I choose not to act it out and I believe it’s possible to conquer those urges which can be so destructive for us.

    Wishing you all the success in your fight! Stay strong and reach out anytime if you wish to.
  6. theosan

    theosan Fapstronaut

    It's good to read that you are discovering what it means to be devoted to God. Prayer is such a helpful thing to do; just speaking out loud the things you struggle with is good or you, but then to know that God's ear draws near to those who seek him, also means that he will answer the prayer. :emoji_smile: Though I believe just devotion to him isn't a guarantee for success, it is also being obedient to what he says. Good luck, Nebu!:emoji_raised_hands:

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