Gotta stop or I ruin my relationship

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by iceice, Aug 17, 2019.

  1. iceice

    iceice Fapstronaut

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    I am new here. I always thought that my porn/masturbation habits were in control. And it didnt really have any effect on my sex life. Also, given that I have been single for long stretches, its been kinda natural for me to jerk off whenever I needed.

    Now I am 38, and in a loving relationship and I want it to succeed. But, I believe that PM addiction is hurting my sex life. I am genuinely interested in sex with a partner when its new, and then I lose interest. I also think I have developed Porn-induced ED.

    Writing these thoughts here are cathartic, and I hope that they help. I want to start small, and see if I can stay away from PM for atleast a week. A week seems daunting at this point.

    I hope I find the support I desperately need in this community.

    Here it goes... today is day 0.
     
  2. Welcome to nofap, you've come to the right place :)
     
  3. djdcgc4

    djdcgc4 Fapstronaut

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    Does your partner know your battling? It helps to have a support system here and with those you love. Best of luck to you!
     
  4. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    Roady likes this.
  5. Coffee Candy

    Coffee Candy Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

    Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

    People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal, we could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

    Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     
    Theinquiringmind likes this.
  6. iceice

    iceice Fapstronaut

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    I havent had a chat with her yet. But I intend to. It's just difficult to have a conversation about this.
     
  7. iceice

    iceice Fapstronaut

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    I did the avatar photo, and I'll start posting more regularly on the profile. If nothing else, it will be a reminder of my streak so far.

    I understand the benefits of a public journal. But, I am not so much of a sharer or a writer. I will consider doing this, when I really find myself unable to maintain my streak.

    Thank you so much for such a warm and supportive welcome.
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  8. djdcgc4

    djdcgc4 Fapstronaut

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    I can see how hard it might be to prepare for a conversation like that. It’s tough but you aren’t alone. Try to remember the emotions your I feeling knowing your holding back your partner is likely experiencing the the same emotions even not knowing why. Honesty is admirable. I wish you the best of luck!
     
  9. iceice

    iceice Fapstronaut

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    I had the chat. I told her, 'After a bunch of research on the internet, I think I am addicted to PM. I am gonna try very hard to abstain from both, and I need time to figure this out.'

    She understood what I was saying, and said that she will support me. But, But.... I dont think I was able to convey the seriousness, and the difficulty this endeavor.

    To me, this seems like one of those things that require several conversations before I am able to be fully honest and vulnerable with her regarding this.
     
  10. djdcgc4

    djdcgc4 Fapstronaut

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    Good for you for having the courage to start the conversation. I would agree it will take many conversations through this process for both of you. Greatest piece of advice I could give you would be to talk about it everyday in some capacity and make it a priority to remind her it’s not her fault. Keep up your battle and remember your not alone.
     
    iceice likes this.
  11. iceice

    iceice Fapstronaut

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