Happy to be here...

Hello to the Fapstronauts out there!

I am a newbie on the site, though a veteran of almost thirty years of porn watching. I will soon be 42, and I can't say my life are not "normal": I have a lovely and loving wife, and two gorgeous girls, and a pretty good and stable job. So, at one level, it might appear that everything is "OK" and I am not a porn addict.

But at another level, that is of course very far from the truth. I usually watch porn about three to four times a week, about one hour per session. This puts me no a masturbation average of one per day or two, for most of my life. Again, I can't say that my life is totally ruined by porn, but -- I do carry with me a strong sense of "things could have been different".... From my early teenagehood, I adopted a lethargic behavior, light depression, low self-esteem and shame, agitation, lack of motivation, and strong predilection for "brain fog". All these things go hand-in-hand with porn and masturbation, and for me, indeed, they had.

Not everything is dark. I adopted yoga and meditation as hobbies, and am still pursuing meditation almost at a daily level, and am also learning Hindu and Buddhist tradition as part of my profession. This has been a source of inspiration, and had a healthy, countering effect on my "intimate" habits, though I can't say it is magic: here I am, on my path to reboot....

I enjoy sex, and love sex, and love women. This addiction touches on something very fundamental for any human being (obviously!)... So it is difficult for me to imagine my life on a PMO. I also would prefer at this point to leave my wife out of this conversation .... So I am contemplating doing the PM, aware that in fact it prolongs and inaugarates the challenges in comparison to PMO ...

Anyway, this was my two cents!

Can't wait to start changing my life -- for the very least on this particular front!!!

Best!
Gil.

 

Thanks Hexenwahn on the kind words regarding the avatar... kind of "back to basics", right? Your avatar is intriguing, kind of early 20th cen. European calendar pics... can you let me in on that?

 

Hey Stranger! Thanks... Yes, this is a lot about getting the right perspective .... what is valuable in our life, what does good to us via what does bad ... it is all about perspective.. success to you too!

 

Nice. I will look into this album...

 

Well, life goes on. My family is back with me. Huge waves of love and joy, and a deep, deep understanding that the purity of the mind, freedom from pornography, make a huge emotional pillar for this miracle to happen. I am indebted and adamant in continuing ... With wishes of hope, strength, and determination to all!

 

Amid friends.

A family of close friends are staying with us for some days. In the past, such visits would imply an imposed break from porn, as only few private corners are left around the house ....

Joining the NoFap community and taking the no-PM commitment, I am now relieved of such stupid considerations. There is really no difference between an empty or a full house. A steady, lighthearted and healthy continuum of existence reigns.

May it continue, and may I have the strength to resist when the inevitable mental relapses arrive....