Hi, guys! This is just something i felt that i have to write. I have been relapsing "constantly" lately because of the places i have been going to... From november of the last year until february i basically stayed at home... would go to the gym sometimes, maybe to the mall, and that's basically it. But i am going to school now and that enviroment has been one the main reasons for my relapses, the other is the gym. In my school girls just... you know... don't dress very decently... and there are a bunch of girls who are physically attractive... i have been trying to be "pure" when it comes to sexuality, because i have been trying to be a proper christian. Despite that, i honestly can't pretend i am blind, even though i try very very hard... The other main reason for my relapses has been the gym... i have to train my body because of some physical exams i will probably have to go through but the gym enviroment has been a big trigger for me... i know that you guys might be thinking i'm overreacting but it's something that really bothers me. There is this girl/woman at the gym who i think kind of pretty... she made me relapse when i got home after, like, a day. Worst thing about relapsing, currently, is that i am having to study hard for some upcoming exams and fapping really destroys my motivation and concentration. I think i will have to try pretty harder and ignore the mega urges that suddenly creep on me...
She didn’t make you do anything... you chose to relapse on your own accord. Getting “triggered” is a choice my friend. The connection you make between the sight of attractive women (moderately dressed or not) and masturbation, is solely in your head. Those 2 things are completely unrelated. Maybe you should think about how pathetic it is to run home and masturbate because you saw a hot women that you’d probably never have a shot with in real life.
Attractive people dressing in attractive ways is a fact of life. A part of learning to master your sexuality is learning to deal with that, not secliding yourself in an attempt to avoid it. Nor should you. To me it sounds like you are approaching NoFap from the angle of supressing your urges completely and pretending they aren't there. The fact of the matter is that you have sexual thoughts and feelings, and you can't make them go away by pretending they aren't there. Instead you should accept and aknowledge them and try to deal with them in a more productive way. To abstain from PMO is not to make the urges go away, but to not feel the forcing need to act on them. This I think is another problem. You are blaming other people for your failures. The pretty girl at the gym didn't break into your home and force you to masturbate (that would be rape), nor did you seeing her automatically and inevitably lead to you uncontrollably madturbating. It was you. You made the choice to fap. Now, it may have been an addict's choice and as such there's no point in feeling overtly ashamed of it like the other poster suggested, but it was a choice nonetheless. If you can't accept the responsibility for how you react to your urges, you'll never hold the power to stop yourself from doing that.
Here's an idea for you, take responsibility for your own actions. People that you do not know and do not talk to and just seeing them did not cause you to relapse, it was your decision to do that. You're an addict, justifying your addiction, just like the alcoholic who says it is not his fault he drinks but someone else's.
Not sure why you're throwing shade with that last part "you'd probably never have a shot with in real life"? Who are you to judge? You're 17. It's normal at that age to experience attraction. But in terms of PMO addiction it's not a good idea to dwell on it. It's okay to see them once, and then direct your attention to something else, not staring, that causes relapses. Meaning you fapped. Big deal. But now that you're on NoFap you have to learn to not do that anymore until you overcome your addiction. Learn to handle urges. If you just ignore them and pretend they don't exist they will just come back stronger the next time. It's good that you found out about NoFap at 17. Use your chance to quit now and never watch P again. It's truly damaging.
