Urges for Spoiler bbc porn and stuff, even as far feelings of Spoiler giving oral and acting it out IRL . I dont know what to fucking do, its really messing with my mind. Then when i post posts like this I get approached by people saying weird stuff. But im afraid im just in denial by not watching it and acting it out.
He didn't say he watched it. He said he has urges to watch it and act it out. Give yourself enough time away from porn. Try at least for 12 weeks. If your thoughts remain, you can think about who you actually are and what your sexuality is. But if you are still actively entangled in porn, don't confuse your conditioning with your sexuality. That will end badly.
There is nothing anyone can say to stip you, but we can encourage you to have the strength to decide not to do it. Perhaps it would help you to just make a commitment to not do it “today” and then do the same thing tomorrow. If a day is too long the just commit not to do it before midday, then before midnight. You might be able to stop yourself for smaller chunks of time.