Hello All...

Hello Fapstronauts.

Im starting my journal here. Im hoping to get feedback from some of you to get me motivated to move on by sharing life experiences.

Long story short, Ive been addicted to porn since I way about 12. I discovered the consequenses when I was 21, a virgin, tried to get laid for the first time and... things went south from there (and they stayed South, lol)!!

I was depressed for years, and Im thinking around 2 years ago I discovered that PIED was real, there was documented evidence and then I understood what my problem was. But it took me 4 years to figure that out! Before that I had no idea what was wrong with me. And I couldnt find it in my heart to tell anybody! So I suffered in silence.

Last year I did a great deal of improvement. I find I hardly watch any porn at all now. And if I do its just a few pictures. However I have to confess my depression throughout these years led to marijuana addiction and excessive partying. Which as you obviously know is not a good combination for someone who is rebooting (its not a good combination in general! For anybody!).

So at some point I managed to stay clean for around 40 days, but then the weed and the partying led me to take the wrong decisions. I began to seriously doubt this whole rebooting thing. And thought to myself that I definitely have a problem that arose from a porn addiction. But that "staying clean" for 1 year or so was completely unnatural! Like, who in the world would think such a thing can heal you?

Then I developed my own theory, and thought to myself that what I had to do was to stop watching porn for sure. Stop masturbating 100%. But that I needed to definitively start experiencing having sex. That's where I thought these guys, Mark Queppet, Alex Rhodes, etc. had it wrong.

So I tested my theory. I went on to explore my sexuality cuz thats what I thought would heal me. At first it was a fiasco! Later on I started to get used to it (I feel a good deal of rewiring went on here) and like it. But to be honest, from the experience from these past several months. I definitively believe these guys at NoFap are right. And that if I want to recover I have to abstain from sex completely. Otherwise Ill just stay in the same place, Forever! Which frightens me because its been 6 years now since I first suffered the consequences of my porn abuse. And it Freaks me out just to think about Never being able to have a normal life because of this pathetic habit I developed such a long time ago.

So I HAVE to, I just Have to recover this 2017 NO MATTER WHAT!

Its now or never. This is why im commiting to NoFap this time for sure.
Because there is no choice for me. This is rock bottom. And the only way is up!

Thank you all for sharing. Love you all and I wish you the very best!

We can do this together. Because we have to. There is no other way.

Cheers,
TicoFap