hello, glad you're here.

hello,
I will try to keep this brief (this my 2nd attempt to post an intro - 1st was a lengthy history on my journey that lead me here, but I went in a tunnel, page refreshed, story lost). I recently got a data plan on my cellphone, and as a result pmo invaded my work life. I am married 8 years now and had a son in 2015. PMO issues had popped up in home life before and on fat Tuesday, the onset of lent, I began to think I had to reverse course so I started reading and listening to videos about, PMO's harm to myself and others around me in the form of neglect and warped expectations in the bedroom. I started hearing and reading about nofap, so I read up on it and found the site. I thought in the battle to reverse a 20+ "relationship" with PMO, its a good idea to seek out as much support as I can. I'm going this alone thus far. Day 21 with nofap. Wish me luck as I wish luck upon all of you. -Winslow

 

thanks for the note d.j. I'm progressing fairly well with avoiding pmo, but I have to admit in using my strategy to read as much about the damaging effects of P on society, I came across a TED talk on the merits of feminist P. As if eating a pound of fois gras is okay if you're eating the fois gras from that one farm that produces it ethically. Feeling a little rejected by my wife, I succumbed to a internet search for the "feminist p" on Saturday evening. Instead of blurred images asking if I wanted to turn of "safe search", there was a list of websites, I clicked on "turn off" and "videos" and up popped thumbnails of familiar <spoiler alert>. I quickly shook my head, literally like you'd shake your arm if a spider were to be crawling on it. I did not open anything and immediately searched nofap in need of the emergency button. I clicked on the "rejection" button and read the short piece there on the principle of the "all or nothing" approach. Even though the actors in feminist P, may be treated ethically and exercise agency (like the geese on that one farm in Spain) that doesn't make it is okay for a person like me, in recovery, trying to strengthen my family, not being able to bear the thought of losing contact with my son if I don't get a grip. I feel this was a near miss. Although I feel bad about the temptation, but I find some solace in the fact that I didn't indulge.
so what do I use to cope. I found an article by Alex, from the feed the right wolf website, reposted by his friend Craig. There is great explanation of what happens to your body when you indulge in pmo and effective strategies to prepare yourself to defeat the urges, when they come - because they will come. I also found some of Gamerfaith's videos encouraging. I've tried to rekindle past interests in drawing, and making attempts to notice architectural details instead of women as I walk to work, as Craig says, "you have to make a [new] habit, to break a [an old] habit." The cold shower thing is helping too.