My name is "Mike J" and I am a 23 year old male. And I have been addicted to Internet porn for about 10 years now. I got my first glimpse of porn in the fourth grade when another student pulled up a pornographic website on a school computer. It was a group of us looking at it and the teacher caught us but we did not get in trouble. Some of us continued to look at porn on school computers and if it was ever discovered we all denied any knowledge of it and didn't get I trouble. Then at home we got our first internet capable computer with high speed internet and it was in my room. I guess I was about 13 at the time and that's when I started masturbating. *relapse alert*. At first I would primarily masturbate to hot chicks in swimsuits and skimpy clothing. Then I graduated to late night programming on HBO, showtime etc. at first I would mainly nasturbate on the weekends but it gradually grew to something I would do on a near daily basis. After school I would go to my dads job until he got off from work. He would let me get on someone else's computer while he worked and I would look up material to masturbate to. a few years of that went on until I discovered a pornographic video on a family members computer. It was the first hardcore sex scene I had ever seen and it all went to shit from there. I started looking at hardcore scenes on a daily basis, masturbating on a daily basis. Masturbating in high risk areas and while I know I have been caught, the people that saw me pretended not to see and told me nothing. Fast forward 10 years and it's still a daily habit, have not been able to stop past 1 week, and worst of all at 23 years old I am a Virgin. I have never had a girlfriend, never seriously kissed a girl, and paired with my other addiction (workaholism), have convinced myself that I do not have time for women. I knew I really had a problem when I went to the strip club for the first time and a real live nude, flesh and blood woman was dancing on me, and allowed me to touch her and I barely got an erection. So the other day as I was sulking in self pity I decided that I want to stop missing out on life and that I want to have a meaningful, sexual relationship with a woman but in order for that to happen I would have to undo years of damage due to my porn addiction. So far I have only gone two days without masturbating and while I have looked at porn these past two days it has been very brief. Just yesterday I stumbled upon Gary Wilsons TED talk on porn and it has helped me solidify my commitment to tame this beast so I can better my life in all areas. Sorry for the long post but I look forward to getting advice from others in the community and I hope that I can help motivate someone well they struggle with these issues.
18 male.... First watched porn due to no woman wanted to be around me, due to my lisp, anxiety and ADHD. But I'm going for 90
Hey man don't lose hope!! I know plenty of guys with worse afflictions than you still get it on with the ladies! Hell I know a guy who just got married and he's paralyzed from the nipples down! The thing is that these guys own their impediment and are super confident which attracts the ladies. I'm sure once you complete your 90 day goal that your confidence will soar and you'll find a lady for yourself!
Thanks bro, means a lot. I'm being hopeful! There's one girl I want but she's dating someone But again thanks for giving me hope and boosting my confidence!
No worries man. And I'm in the same boat. Got this cute little red head but she's got a boyfriend. But on the plus side everytime I see her we either play fighting, helping each other out or talking about a serious matter. Who knows what'll happen. Maybe try and talk to this chick on a friendly basis and if things don't work with her boyfriend you might be a shoe in.
Oh yeah we're friends. Whenever I talk to her it starts off lighthearted and almost always gets to a serious matter. But normally that's all we do, just talk, never hang out. But otherwise if being a frien is what I can get, then so be it. And like you said, things could not work out. Also, good luck to you as well, on the matter of the redhead.
Oh yeah eliminate my porn addiction forever. Due to the pitfalls of my porn addiction coupled with my work addiction, I have never had a girlfriend. I have zero problems approaching women and striking up conversations with them but I know I wouldn't be able to hang on bed so I don't go to far. And I use work as an excuse by saying I work too much. Which is true but an excuse nonetheless. So my goal is to break my addiction, get healthy again, and then have a meaningful relationship with a live person.
There's a guy named Gary Wilson that did a TED talk on how porn affects the brain. It's a real eye opener. And he runs the website yourbrainonporn.com . If you haven't already heard of him you may want to check him out
You took the first step. You have spent a lot of time looking at porn. Time to use that time wisely. Start going to the gym. It will help you increase your confidence. Make you feel good about your self. If you keep up the nofap you will see great results. Btw the most important part of nofap is the not looking at porn!!! You watched the Ted talk. It is the dopamine that F'ed us up. The dopamine is released when we look wether or not we M. That Ted talk also led me here. I believe it is a life saver.
Thanks Matt! I actually started going to the gym about a week about and I already feel more powerful. I will probably start going more often and for longer durations because I know that initially I will eat more because I am not fapping and weightlifting will somewhat counteract that. And yeah that TED talk was a game changer for me. I always knew I had a problem with porn but I never would have thought it was worse than a drug habit!
