Hello.. trying to figure this all out. Advice?

Hi there people.

I'm new to all this so I have some questions and I'm curious if anyone can help to relate. I want to kind of set the scene so you know where I'm coming from..

I'm a 28 year old hetro guy and last month I decided that I wanted to feel what it was like to "reset" - so to speak.

I've been looking at porn pretty regularly since I was 12. A couple of times over the years, I spontaneously stopped looking for a week or two. Several times I abstained for a whole month just to prove to myself that I could live without it. However, basically on average, I've looked at porn regularly for 16 years.

It hasn't posed me any major problems in my life. I've had healthy long-term relationships and haven't had a problem meeting women. When speaking to other friends, I don't feel my level of usage is out of my control.

What got me on to this thread was while the Olympics were on, I read an article about a prominent Olympian who had a problem with porn addiction. His story struck a nerve, which led me to doing some reading. I eventually ended up on this site. After browsing around and reading a bit, I identified with some of the information. Over my years of porn viewing, I've gradually become desensitized to so-called 'vanilla porn' and my tastes have turned towards more hardcore material. I sometimes have also felt a bit of shame after finishing. I'm currently single and not neglecting any partner but when I have had girlfriends it usually hasn't proved to be a problem within the relationship.

Recently, I started to think that at this rate - perhaps porn would always be part of my life. I couldn't decide whether that's something I feel good about or not. One part of me thinks of the upsides- 'Well, I don't ethically object to it'. As long as the participants are consenting adults, it's fine by me. I enjoy using it. Porn can be a good stress reliever and it has offered a bit of spice in some of my relationships. It also can serve to satisfy a curiosity inside of me for other women when I've been in relationships, potentially lessening the chance of me growing bored of my partner.

The downsides have been subtle but notable. The endless variety of things to look at on porn sites have meant I've found sometimes found myself less satisfied with real women. I sometimes noticed myself comparing their bodies in my head to norms I've become accustomed to from porn. I also think it can be a bit de-motivational in the sense that one doesn't need to search for a real partners when there's an ever-available supply of women to look at online.

So that puts me in a strange space where I'm thinking: is this really a problem? I guess I'm the main one able to answer that. I'd be curious to hear about other people's experiences and what it's like to be single and porn-free. Do you eventually move towards fapping without visual stimuli?

I have been porn and fap free for 10 days already. So far, so good. I have been tempted several times (including a friend spontaneously sending me a link that allows access to a whole bunch of porn sites free) but have managed to focus on other things. Cheers

 

Thanks for your response. Are you wishing to be fap-free because while doing it, you may fall back into the habit of watching porn? I'm not sure my long term goal would be to never fap because I think there's a biological need for a release sometimes and that doesn't need to involve porn.

It is a bloody addictive thing though