So, here I am, after a 30 year relationship with pornsturbation, trying to go cold turkey. I have derailed my relationship pretty badly, and this is a bit of a hail mary to try to save it, but also to get control. It might be too late to save the relationship, but maybe the next one won't crash and burn on the rocks of smut. It's really gotten a little ugly. I tell myself all the sorts of things drug addicts tell themselves about why it's not an addiction and why there's not a problem, but it's pretty funny, in a detached kind of way. I am actually getting nervous sitting here writing to a bunch of strangers. I can't help thinking this would go a little easier after a visit to a site or two and a quick wank. This is the third wank-free day in a row and frankly, I hate it. I'm pretty familiar with the way my brain plays games with me, and it's in high gear now. The fact is, though, that if I could control it, if it weren't causing myself and my loved ones pain, if it wasn't a torturous obsession, I wouldn't be here. Hi!
Good to hear from you, I am trying to leave my own "marriage" with wanking (25 years) and porn (nearly 20 years). I just keep doing two things, firstly assert that porn is not what I want from the rest of my life, and secondly just keep believing that I can actually find a partner and never have to go back to porn. Luckily I have previosly managed once or twice to go 2-3 weeks without wanking, so I'm not feeling too bad on day 5 (today). But I am just worried about what will happen once I get to 2-3 weeks since after that will be uncharted territory. Anyway, you've made a good start by joining the forum, good luck.
Thanks, enoughnow. I managed a couple of months before and then slid off the wagon, with pretty terrible consequences. Granted, I had help in the form of travelling and not having a minute to myself, but I know I could have managed. 2-3 weeks is no small feat, either. I think you're quite right that an important part of it is thinking about it differently. I had to change how I saw myself in order to quit smoking, and I expect this is going to be the same, only worse. Sigh.
