Hello

Hello,

I feel very blessed to have found this site. I am currently reading a book called Overcoming Your Self Defeating Behavior's in an attempt to make some behavioral adjustments with regards to PMO. The current step I am on, step 3 out of 7, recommends that I really take a look at the prices I pay for my behavior. There is depression, that one stands out the most. Self loathing comes to mind, as does less intimacy with my wife. Along with recognizing these prices paid, I am also examining the way I minimize these consequences. In other words, how can I justify my behavior? "Well, just one more time." "It's not really within my control." These are things I tell myself.

I have taken a close look at the negative labels I assign to myself, and along the way I have realized that I try to avoid responsibility for my behavior, that is I blame others for how I behave. "Well, my parents didn't teach me proper behavior." This blaming others, I have learned, is a way to cling to the behavior.

This site is a tool, much like the book is I'm working through. In my efforts to change I have realized that it will take effort. That I can't reasonably expect to read some information and have that in and of itself transform me. I think it is the effort that intimidates me the most, the fact that I will be required to resist, I will be expected to exercise my willpower in certain situations.

I'm kind of religious, and I think of a scripture that talks about weak things becoming strong, that God has given men weaknesses to make them strong. I can reasonably surmise that through this process of behavior changes the weak things about me will strengthen. My ability to resist, my willpower, along with many other things that I'm not fully aware of at this time.