Help.. Am I Addicted?

- Hi all,

I need help... Lots of help. I decided to try this site and see how it goes. I'm trying to figure if I have an addiction which I think I do. This is going to be a long post so be prepared. I have been masterbating to porn religiously everyday once a day since I was 13. I am 23 now. There can be a percent error in there for the "every day" part. Sometimes I took a few day break. Sometimes I did it twice a day.

I never thought it would be a problem until a recent involvement with a woman. BUT... Now analyzing some my past, I think it is a problem. My first sexual experience with a girl ever. I was nervous and experienced ED. 2nd girl, lost virginity but had intermittent ED but finally it worked. 3rd girl... Tried to attempt sex but ED again but I wasn't into her (and she was horribly stinky down there, stunk up the whole living room and kitchen) Now this 4th girl recently changed my whole perspective. I fell for her so hard.. she was amazing and she wanted to be pretty steady. She wanted to meet my friends and family. Well first time we had sex... i was super nervous. It worked for about 15 minutes and I just couldn't orgasm. Then ED came... she was cool with it then. 2nd and third time's just no orgasm. She began to feel self concious because her ex abused and cheated on her. He experienced the exact same thing because he wasn't attracted to her anymore. She thought it was something wrong with her. I told her no, I was really into her (which I was, she was a blonde bombshell, literally shit I dreamed about... Or watched in porn about. :-( So I began to do some thinking and I thought maybe porn was negatively affecting me all these years. So one night after the same happened, she asked what is wrong.. what can she do to help, she wanted to please me. So I told her that I've been watching porn since I was 13 and I may be addicted. That was the wrong thing to say... My long story short. She weeks later said we need a break. Break turned into I need space then space eventually turned into no contact. She used the excuse that her ex has been recently hammering on her emotionally and she's just emotionally stressed. Well 1 month later after everything. She's in a relationship with this big dude. Definitely more alphamale than me. I feel... Horrible. This girl was so perfect for me. Did porn do this to me?

P.S. I take 2 medications for depression and anxiety. Lexapro, which can contribute to ED and Wellbutrin which has no effect to cause ED. I started to take them after my first sexual experience. I have GAD after some other life experiences and a car accident I've experienced.

Sorry for the long thread I'm at a loss. As of right now.. I still can't stop porn once a day everyday. It just feels SO good lol. I just feel at bliss when fapping. It's a cool before bed type of thing. I always orgasm when I watch porn though. So I don't have a serious medical problem.

 

Wow really?? What should I do about it?

 

Jeez.. this seems like this will be difficult.

 

Well thanks for your help.. if anyone else can post please do. I need all the help I can get.