help!!! **crying in corner**

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by meerah, Sep 21, 2016.

  1. meerah

    meerah New Fapstronaut

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    namastey, i am new to this place and the purpose for being here isnt different that i too really really really want to get rid of that PMO.
    so... i want your help because i am feeling worst. idk whether it'll help me to get rid of that habit or not. but i wanna tell you that i masturbated today, watching porn (as i am unable to arouse without watching porn, i had to do that) and the reason for doing masturbation and get orgasms is because i was in pressure of studies! wtf! everytime i left alone at home , i do that. and this happens very often. i have a boyfriend but i have wasted the charm of our relationship. i am not interested in him anymore. meseems him unattractive, boring and waste. but the truth is i loved him. i knew the difference between love and lust , so there could be no point of lust for him anyway. i know this is love and due to my bad attitude towards relationship and other aspect of life i am failing in everything. i know that this masturbation, and self pleasure thing (that too in excessive manner) are responsible for my failure. i am fed up of myself. i decide every time to quit and again start it as dumbstruck. positive vibes for negative things generates in my mind and I again push myself into these. please please someone help me. :'( i hate myself. have very low self esteem. no confidence. no life. i ,myself is the outcome of my attitude towards bad habit. i cant concentrate on studies, i have wasted hell alot of money for preparation of jobs, and failed. i wasted my precious time. i am failed in everything. i am failed in life. help me!!
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2016
    Sunshadow likes this.
  2. Sunshadow

    Sunshadow Distinguished Fapstronaut

    First off, you have not failed at life. You're only 22, you should have many more years ahead of you.
    Second, you have realised you have a problem. Many never do, they're the ones who have truly failed. You can read many sad stories on here, about people whose loved ones refused to admit they had a problem.
    Third, you've come to the right place! NoFap is an awesome community, and we will always welcome new people who are ready to make a change in their life.
    My suggestion is you look for an Accountability Partner here, start a journal here, look at some of the success stories here, and then go out and start a new life!
     
    Revert and meerah like this.
  3. i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the forum @meerah. It doesn't matter if we are male or female, we have all fallen into the trap of PMO. Our addiction often starts off as a curiosity and is pleasurable. But eventually the brain learns to use it to feel better all the time and we come to depend on it. We use PMO to medicate depression, to relieve anxiety, as a reward system, as a substitute for socializing, and for entertainment. On the surface it appears our problems are sexual in nature but it is really an emotional problem at it's root. Addicts use events/images/objects to alter, medicate, sooth, numb, or escape from negative emotions. We become experts at momentarily relieving emotional pain, but when we are done we often feel twice as bad as before. Instead of turning to true sources of comfort we turn even deeper into our addiction. Addicts often escalate into using PMO more often or we find more stimulating forms of porn. It becomes the primary relationship in our lives and all other real relationships suffer.

    Many have overcome the problems you are experiencing. I know you feel pain and anguish right now but you have found a place that can give you advice, information, and support. I hope you find relief and comfort from this community.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2016
    vibemaker and meerah like this.
  4. meerah

    meerah New Fapstronaut

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    thank you :) i have a new hope now. may be , may be everything will be alright by time and support. people refused to admit our problem and instead telling us its benefits. i couldnt see any. masturabtion, never bring any positive effect in someone, it only amplify our hunger to the next level. and at last we give up on ourself. we start to hate ourself. in that situation people need to understand our problem and help us to cope up with it instead of taking it natural human behaviour. my luck was bad that my loved ones didnt help me to get out of it. but now , seeing you all people i feel great. if you can do, i can do, anyone can do. :) thanks mate. :) bless you
     
  5. NextLevelOfLife

    NextLevelOfLife Fapstronaut

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    I can't speak to you as an ex - porn adict, but I can speak to you as someone who got through depression, it's not easy, it evolves you gradually changing the way you approach everyday life and separately going through your issues one by one, for some people (my self included) that involves counseling, but at the end of the tunnel there is gorgeous blue skies, even if you've forgotten what the colour is, trust me your on the right Road
     
  6. meerah

    meerah New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you @Sruff :) your words are really helping me to feel great. the way you explained my problem in your words, i thank you. :) i know we all are going through same way , but the support and inspiration for each other will always be required. we will have to fight with those inner greedy desires in order to bring the best version of ourself, in order to regain self confidence, in order to get respect for ourself. i thank you for your support and suggestions. i truly need them :) best of luck to you too buddy. :)
     
    Awakeatlast and NextLevelOfLife like this.
  7. meerah

    meerah New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you @i_wanna_get_better1 :) i trully appreciate your words, those bring a new hope in my life. you understood me, and gave me the exactly solution and motivation... i needed. i hope everything will be good by now. as i followed your suggestions, i got to know people changing their past bad habits and getting its benefits, sort of confidence generated in me. if people with bad past experiences can change that , perheps i can also do that. desire to change can only bring change in something, i leart it by people stories.
    anyway best of luck you too. bring the best of you to the world :)
     
    i_wanna_get_better1 likes this.
  8. Welcome, the fact you are being here is already a big step forward towards recovery. Like the other members are saying you got a long life before you which will be wondrous. Step by step, day by day, we will conquer this addiction as a group!
     

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