hey guys! this is my first day on here and i must say that im really!! happy i found this site! my relationship with my gf has really been struggling because of our sex life and its all because of my and my porn addiction. this is something that iv recently come to terms with so finding this site gave me more of a drive to do better for her as well as myself. to give u just a little back story, i started watching porn at a young age like any normal teenager. i never felt like i had a problem back then, i was just a curious kid exploring my body. i think this all started when i found out i had HIV about three years ago. as u may assume it was a very hard time in my life that caused me to deal with alot of anxiety and fear of rejection. at that time, i was convinced that i would never be in a relationship again, let alone have sex! so from that moment on i had told myself that i would never have sex again and that i would just watch porn for the rest of my life. So for about a whole year i confided in a very excessive amount of porn. masterbaing became an everyday thing, even twice a day. a year later i found a girl who accepted me for who i am and what i had and we've been together for almost two years now. the first year was great, we were still in the honeymoon phase so sex was plentiful. i would still watch porn but i felt like it was balanced out by actual sex with my gf. now we are almost at our two year mark and things have definitely changed. we still love eachother very much, but the sex has slowed down. i find myself very upset with her because i want to have sex and she dosnt, in return leaving her very frustrated as well. because of the absence of sex i find myself masterbating extremely too exesively to the point where im dependent on it to get me through by days and nights. also when me and my gf do have sex there is a lack of connection. Another big issue is that i can not have an orgasm. Because of my infection i have no other choice but to wear a condom which has naturally cause me to loose some sensation during sex, but was still enjoyable. now i cant cum at ALL because i cant feel anything especially with a condom on! all in all my new goal is to reboot!! asap!! im shooting for 21 weeks. i think i have taken the first step of awareness and addressing that i have a problem. ultimately i want to be a better person and a better lover for my gf, and i feel in order to do so i must cut out porn and masterbation all together!!!! this is where i need you guy's help: one of my biggest concern is the desensitization that my penis has now. do you guys think the rebooting process will help gain some sensitivity back!?! is there another name for this problem that im having and is there another way to fix it??? please help!!!! i just want to be able to have pleasurable sex with my gf, with a condom, and STILL have an orgasm. finally, with my excessive porn watching,i have gotten bored with regular straight porn and find myself watching very extreme porn even gay porn. with a that said, i honestly dont think im gay, but now i have spontaneous, strong, sexual feeling for men sometimes and i also have sick and twisted fantasies that i feel the urge to play out with my gf. dou guys thing these feelings will revert after i "reboot"???? I also look forward to the other added benefits of rebooting for my life personally. please guys!! any input, advice, answers, words of encouragement would all be helpful. As i start this 21 day journey any glimpse of hope will be helpful i do plan on being sexually active w/ my gf during these 21 day with the hopes of orgasm. do u guys think thats a good idea?? hope to here from u guys too!!! wish my luck!! ps. srry if this sound really choppy or has alot of grammatical errors, im just trying to get all my thoughts out at once! lol
