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Hey, new here, need to vent

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by JustHitRockBottom, Jan 8, 2022.

  1. JustHitRockBottom

    JustHitRockBottom Fapstronaut

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    (Sorry, for my english - not a native ;P)
    My story goes like these:
    I am studying Computer Science. I am sophomore - and on top of that - pretty succesful one. I have always tried to improve myself in as many ways as possible. This semester, I have taken up BJJ and ballroom dancing classes.
    At first I didn't have any problem with masturbation, nor porn (I did it, but I was fully in control - not more than once a four days, 90% times without porn. In october I even stopped fully for 2 weeks). Everything was going great.
    But December was packed with many exams and deadlines. The mix of stress and loneliness made me abuse both porn and masturbation. It went from being natural thing to straight up addiction.
    I feel like a zombie. It is not that I have no energy - I am full of it, but sometimes all my times gets wasted on this sh*t. I stopped working out regularly, I am falling behind with my deadlines and on top of all this - my addiction has lead my to strange places.
    I made going on online anonymous chat a daily habit. I did this with sheer purpose of getting girls to send me nudes. It is very time consuming and even once you manage to do it - you get the feeling of hurting the person, on the other side of screen. Once I go there, my ability to control myself drops to zero. Because of this I have done things which I really regret. One time I was tricked into sending nudes to a girl, who had ridiculed me (not for my body, but for how idiotic I was). Second thing is even worse, but I am not ready to talk about it. I know something has to change.
    Yesterday I told my mom, that I have troubles with porn. I didn't explain it in detail - I didn't have enough courage to do so. I am considering seeing a sexuologist (but they are very expensive).
    Any tips and tricks for me guys?
     

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