Hi, 42 y/o newbie here

Hi everyone,

I'm still in shock of realizing a porn addict myself.

I'm a 42 year old male with a good job and good general health conditions. I started consuming erotic magazines as a teenager and continued indulging on this and other practices until the current days of HD porn videos. I got to the point of physically hurting my penis, about 6 years ago. I then realized I should be more careful --it hasn't healed completely yet- but didn't stop.

Watching porn was only one of my several aberrations. I never thought I could hurt myself so badly, nor did I think about any possible damage to my brain.

Rejection, social anxiety and insecurity, amongst other, pushed me back to seeking refuge in the solitary pleasures, not aware of the vicious circle I was immersed in, trying to find causes elsewhere, blaiming others.

It has only gotten worse in the last years and months, with panic attacks and insomnia.

I am a very rational person, very disciplined and willing to do whatever it takes to improve my life, which may have happened to be ruined by unhealthy sexual activities. And I say "may have" because I am here to test that hypothesis. I tried so hard so many things to fix my life, and nothing helped, that I am very skeptic.

I am in NoFAP for 6 days. It does not seem hard for me to abstain --at least so far. Why didn't I try before? I do not know! I always thought there was something inherently wrong with my sexuality, never thought my problems were a consecuence of PMO. I cry and cry. If I only knew before!

I hope NoFAP will help me to find the way to a normal life. So far I do not see or feel any change, besides the fact that I have been reading a book and now partaking in a forum, whereas a week ago I would have been PMOing, but that can be a consecuence as much as a cause.