Hello everyone. It has been about a month since I first discovered the NoFap. I decided there and then to become a Fapstronaut. I didn't tell anyone yet. Problem was, I relapsed about 7 days later, and did PMO about daily afterwards. So to make it official and, yeah, this is a cry for help.. I decided to register. I need help, guys. So here's my story. I discovered PMO back when I was in high school. Coming from an Evangelical family in a majority Catholic nation, we were expected to maintain above average morals, which btw, I also genuinely believe in. P materials at home were unheard of. It was also the time when the Internet gradually got introduced into my country. I was one of the pioneers so to speak of the technology in my city. That was when I discovered P. I used to download dozens of pics and view them at home. I started with straight P, but gradually I noticed that P looked better without girls. So I guess I discovered I was gay, which complicates matters. College came and I moved to a place that had no access to a private computer with Internet. I guess my brain went on reboot. I still did M, but P did not come into the picture. Come to think of it, that was the best time of my life. I had genuine friends, became active in my faith, and practically enjoyed life. Nevertheless, whenever I went home to my city, I still did the PMO cycle.I didn't get into a relationship. I was happy in my single life. Of course I had crushes, male and female, but nothing went serious. I had impossible standards from my PMO habit. Most girls that the guys liked were meh to me. Most guys that girls or gays liked were also meh to me. Then the Internet followed me. It was introduced to my dorm room, to my private computer. I went back to my old habits. PMO, usually in the wee hours of morning when the roommates were asleep, but not regulary, usually about 3 times a week. Graduation came and I went back home. Internet by then was full blown. We had a fast connection at home, and I could get WIFI in my room. My PMO habit became full blown. I had an epiphany one time when I was in a PMO cycle. I noticed that I could make a choice of improving "staying power" or "getting quick fixes", I chose the latter. I took some courses again at home, and for 4 years I had the PMO habit done almost every day, several times a day. I did not get into a relationship. I had impossible standards and I also have image issues. After graduation again, I did 1 year of training in the capital of my country. I had my first sexual encounter there. I was so into the P paradigm, that I barely second guessed an opportunity for casual gay sex, but still proceeded with the deed. He looked awesome, but THE EXPERIENCE WAS AWFUL! I could not get it up properly, and he was wondering why. Told him I was a bit tense. The next day we did it again, I still could not get it up properly. I knew I had a problem. I had ED, read about it and concluded I needed Viagra or Cialis. After training, I got into a job that allowed me to go to a seminar. Met another guy who seemed to have the hots for me too. We went to my hotel and had casual sex. I could not get it hard enough. Good thing was that he was understanding, he made me relax, but I could not maintain my erection. I researched more into ED and I discovered Porn Induced ED which after some links referred me to this community. My job involves making lots of paper work, and my output is substandard compared to the potential I know I have. I need help. I need to kick this PMO habit out of my life. I need to have superpowers. LOL.
Good luck. Check out www.yourbrainonporn.com and watch some of the videos there. The more you understand about what your brain is dealing with the easier it is to stay on track.
