Homemade porn?

Porn is porn, and you're making excuses to keep watching it. Your addicted brain is desperate for loopholes...trust me, it's not going to help your recovery one bit to keep watching that stuff.

 

I totally agree. Read or watch ' yourbrainonporn'. watching these vids will give you the dopamine rush you should get rid of. But I'm not an expert.

 

One book I read a while back had some quotes from a wife that said she did sexy pictures for her husband because he kept bugger her to do them. She stated that he eventually wanted to spend more time M-ing to those pictures than spend time doing anything intimate with her.

So that's another danger. Wanting to spend more time M-ing to those videos of her instead of actually being with her.

 

well that's clear then. Get rid of everything! get intimate with your wife again (or doesn't she interest you anymore sexually?) , it'll be so much better than M'ing

 

Have her lock them up and keep the key. You will shortly see after you have no access to them you will crave them and make excuses to manipulate her into getting access. That will tell you very clearly that you have an addiction, and your brain will fight for it's chemicals.

Destroying porn, in all forms, is so healthy and liberating. Keeping any bits around will always entice you at your weakest moments. Don't set yourself up for failure.

You're wife is so much more than pixels, honor her and make new better intimate memories.

 

While about 6 months clean of porn I took out my phone and started recording my girlfriend I having sex, a particularly escalated sexual encounter. After I did not think much about making the recording, when I watched after it did not feel like watching porn used to, so I did not think about it. But a couple more weeks went by and after my girlfriend told me to stop what we were doing while having sex and slow things down I began to wonder about the recording. I was escalating our sex like I would escalate with porn and it kind of started with the recording. I deleted the recording because that is not what I want out sex life to be, it's not a porn. We can still try new things but we have to make sure it's not just escalating and always get back to baseline after. I still take pictures of her from time to time, not during sex, but just nudes and stuff when she is caught off guard and looking most beautiful. When I occasionally look at those it's more that I love her love that we both have a good deal of trust in the other. So make sex about the intimacy the two of you share and the love you have for each other.

Not sure if my story or advice help but goodluck to you.