How do normal people do this?

I am in the same situation as you. Never got further than 18 days at the may. Constant urges and relapses. Say this over and over again.

Fall down 7 times, get up 8 times.
Fall down 8 times, get up 9 times.
And so forth...

 

Maybe they dont have a past of spending nights watching P. and then fapping? I had today really strong urges, I've been attacked by P. thoughts. What helped me was a session of controlled breaths - maybe some call it meditation. I discovered my garmin watch has such app. It also helped be with my anger. Sometimes I compare myself to alcohol addicts, they must also feel the need to drink and probably constantly think about it - but I am not one of them. The worst thing is they must go outside to buy their treat while all I have to do is close my eyes and think of all that nasty stuff I have watched during last 20 years.

 

Don't separate yourself from a perceived "normal life". You have no idea what "normal" people go through in their minds. Others might seem normal but they are not, everyone is different and everyone had their own baggage. Nobody is without failure and nobody is without struggle.

Try your best not to compare yourself with others. It never leads to a good place, especially when struggling with withdrawals. When you compare yourself to others you will divide yourself up until you fall apart. Anything you do will never be enough. So if there should be a comparison, it is to who you were yesterday.

Normal people are a fantasy. We make them up in our minds in order to further identify with the state (depression, anxiety, etc.) that we are in. Once become highly identified with this state you will not get out of it.

On another note:

What is one thing you can change this day? Just one little thing. Something simple. Maybe you didn't make your bed, make it. Maybe you ate just a little too much, dial back a little. Maybe you missed the sunrise or sunset, stop and take a look. One simple thing, it means the world. It may be hard to see any changes, but the brain is always recording. It never stops recording, it holds all the information you put in there, so a little change can have a domino effect.

I hope you can get out of this slump and I know you can! I have been there, but I found a way out, you can to!

Wish you all the best!

 

The goal is not to "not look at porn". That isn't a goal a "normal" person holds. The goals are numerous, increasingly more difficult, personal, and on going challenges people put in front of themselves to make themselves better. When you are busy reaching for greater heights looking at porn doesn't occur to you, and when you slip up its not that big of a deal.

How many pushups can you do before your body craps out?
Can you play the piano or the guitar?
How many different meals can you cook?
Where could you go to make new friends?
Have you gone to see a counselor?
What's the last book you read?

This is what "normal" people do. We ask ourselves questions about our abilities, work to answer them, associate with others who do the same, and seek help from those who know more than us. And while we are busy doing that we aren't busy alternately masturbating on the internet and them wishing our lives were different. The more people you meet, the more people you talk to, the more you realize your ideas about what's "normal" are part of what's holding you back. You're "normal" just like me and lots of others. Change your life. Make it better.

Your sexual desires aren't going to go away. Build a life around them that you want to live.

 

Because we are lonely and depressed . depression makes everything hard

 

Excellent posts here. I've never succeeded in my nofap attempts, and the reasons are pretty clear.
If the only step you make in your life is to try stopping PMO, it's doomed to failure. The grip is strong, so you need proportionally strong measures to escape.

 

To quit this addiction is to deny your pleasure, its insanely hard. But you can do it.

 

All I can say is I have 100% felt the way you are feeling, in the past. I thought I would never get to where I am at but I am here I am at 120 days as of today. If I can you guys can too. Don't give up. Don't ever give up because your next streak could be one where you lose count.

 

You have to break the circle, change habits and what surround you, the first week is always hard , there is a kind of barrier , you can pass! , just think in strategy(read thread about the others how they did) and use the will. If you pass the first week is less this. More important find a strong motivation to left this.