How to recover from a relapse and how to not give in?

TheMightyPenguin · Nov 27, 2018

I've relapsed enough times for the negative feelings that come after it to lose some of its effect on me, however I am still relapsing and do feel somewhat depressed after doing so sometimes.

After a 30 day streak, I got caught up in the idea that I achieved 30 days and started to put a lot of attention on that. Consequently i ended up in a state where I was afraid of losing the streak but at the same time i began to recognise that I would have to stay away from PMO for the rest of my life and be celibate for quite a long time. This idea morphed into something i didn't realise was toxic to me at the time, but I started to put more focus than i often would on the thought of having sex, getting married, getting a girlfriend. I relapsed and after doing so, I realised that i didn't want those things but rather, my urges put me in that mindset because I was looking for a crutch that wasn't porn, which in this case was the idea that I could have sex in the future.

I sort of went off track . What do you guys do to keep up your streaks, and if you do relapse how do you respond to it?

Mattew · Nov 27, 2018

I "relapsed" two times with an escort.

After that i just continued not fapping and not watching porn.

Deleted Account · Nov 27, 2018

For me:

I have no urge to look at porn. That seems to have died off. Hope that part of me stays dead.

My urges now are to M. And I have an urge to be with someone sexually.

As for resisting? If I may be a bit crude:

I’m put off the idea of M because the mental image of me alone “pulling on myself” or laying on my stomach and grinding my crotch into my mattress looks so pathetic and sad. I no longer want to do that. I just keep thinking of that pathetic image that used to be me for decades and the urge dies down.

As far as being with someone right away, i.e. hooker, escort, or courtesan at a brothel, I just remind myself of the end result. I’ll be empty, sad, alone still, and full of guilt. Same goes with an internet hook up.

I know in my heart I want a wife and I just have to wait. Honestly I don’t think it’s ever going to happen. I’m mentally prepared to go the rest of my life single. I’m 51 years old now and never married. I keep active with activities that get me out of the house. I’ve gone this long, I can just keep going until I die if necessary. Don’t need a woman to be happy. Would like a good woman in my life. But if it doesn’t happen, no big deal.

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How to recover from a relapse and how to not give in?

TheMightyPenguin Fapstronaut

Mattew Fapstronaut

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