I'm in my 20s and I'm ashamed to say that I've never had a girlfriend. I always considered my problem that I am too shy ( which i am) but just recently i made some observations. Because of pmo, my need for social connection has been reduced drastically. I'm always in a hurry to go back to my room and masterbate. I never took the effort to talk to girls. I've just started nofap and its been 2 days since i last did it. I still feel the urge to go to my room and masterbate, but i keep myself busy by working out or by doing community work. But when it comes to talking with people, especially to girls, I'm not able to carry forward the conversation. And when i cant carry forward the conversation, i feel awkward and uncomfortable. How do I overcome this?
Its a case by case basis and theres not exactly a straight answer. I continue to struggle with this as well. The best you can do is be resourceful through quick thinking or already having things to talk about predetermined especially when meeting new people. You cant be afraid to step out of your comfort zone it takes trial and error and you are going to have to mess up some to make progress but thats ok. Also just read up on reccent events and have broader knowledge. Good body language, Smile and be friendly get the other person interested in you. Easier said than done like I said, still a work in progress for myself
Overthinking may be a problem. When talking to girls or people, i'm always considerate but spontaneous. I don't analyze what people think, I just respond how I want to and they love me for it. I had that same problem all my life to before nofap. The first time in my life I had a normal meaningful conservation with someone outside my immediate family was earlier this year. It's was during week 2 or 3 of NoFap. I was in the "superpower phase" of nofap. Where I discovered "game" I never knew I had. I thought my entire post-pubescent demeanor was awkward and sullied......I don't know where i'm going with this,but all I can say is sustain from PMO for around 2-3 weeks and you'll see what I mean. The nofap system will shine down on you and give you a taste of what's to come. You will have "game" out the tail and realize this was you all this time, chained.
Best way to talk to people i think is by saying random things that come in mind was without overthinking as i dont know but this made people laught and see you as different, atractive. Sorry for my english hope you understand
Read up on it & practice what you read, drop what doesn't work & keep what does; pretty soon you'll develop your own unique style. Conversation is a skill friend, & any skill can be learned given enough time. Beautys right, NoFap is especially good for this cause when your on a decent streak you get a huge confidence boost & people can feel it. They'll respond better to you cause you seem comfortable in your own skin. If however you act like an annoying fly buzzing around you'll get swatted every time.
Ask open-ended questions (not yes or no). Listen to their response, dont be thinking of what you are gonna say, take a pause after they finish to do that. Makes you more present and people more comfortable when you do this. Compliments or interest (maybe in a piece of jewelry or tatoo)
Try talking about things you're really interested in and know a lot about, like your favorite hobby or activity. People get very intrigued when you approach them with a lot of enthusiasm about something and will usually express their thoughts about the subject. Believe it or not, I managed to have a very open conversation with a girl that was about fishing which is my favorite hobby! It doesn't matter what the subject of the coversation is as long as you're speaking casually and not really overthinking it.
Don't "stay in your head". You want to connect with people. The longer you abstain, the more this concept will come naturally. If you have to think about every response, you'll seem disingenuous. And remember, to always be positive. Who wants to spend time with a negative person? I don't. This applies to both boys and girls.
