I am a simple boy with big dreams

I am an 18 years old boy from Bangladesh.I belong to first generation of my country who have access to smartphone and high speed internet.As a result,I have been suffering from porn addition since 2016. I became addicted to porn before understanding what real love and sex meant.Because there was no open discussion about porn ,sex and teenage health in our school or family because I belong to a conservative society.The glamour models with artificial body, fake characters, seductive talking and moaning and hardcore sexual acts have just ruined my last 5 years.It was too late for me to identify that fake world.Now-a- days without watching porn, I feel many symptoms like fatal headache, angry mood, discouraged mindset, less attentiveness and short term memory etc. When I look at mirror, I only see an underdog person who is gradually trying to quit porn addiction but can't. This addiction level increased last year when I had a break up,got low grades, changed school and city and became more lonely than anytime in my life. I want to make my country developed and powerful.But Alas ! For this addiction, I can't word hard or obtain good marks to fulfill that dream.
Now I am 18 years old.I have only one problem in my life that is porn addiction. I have many years to live and thrive so I must and definitely quit it. I want to be a good father, good husband and overall a good human being. I want to enjoy the moment when a gentle breeze is blowing in a good weathered day, my wife's hands are in my hands, her head is on my shoulder, I am softly touching her hair, my children are playing with my cats, and I and my wife are laughing together watching them and waiting for a new member of our family to come. Pray for me , guys and I want to be your friend whoever is reading this.

 

Absolutely right. Porn leads to low grades and low grades creates the thought of suicide. Hopefully One day I will break the chain. Thanks for your comments and nice to meet you.

 

Thank you so much. But I had trying to quit it for 3 years.Every time, I failed. The highest number of days for me to abstain from this addiction was 36 days.Then I relapsed again.So it is disturbing for me.

 

Yes, brother.Pain today, gain tomorrow.

 

I can't describe how much happiness I feel after reading the last line.