I am not allowed to have a girlfriend...

...by myself! That's right, it's me who doesn't allow me to have a girlfriend. Why? Gonna tell ya why!

That's the thing: I dated a girl some weeks ago via Whatsapp. We chatted for only trice a day, so very very little contact. Then she lied on me by saying that she already has a boyfriend. I got depressed and very emotionally vulnerable (thus, I cried a lot the last time). Now, I live like over analysizing everything, thinking if I am right with my opinion on sth and stuff. It's pain, mental pain. I really don't wish it to anyone!

So, now imagine we'd come together and we split up in 1.5 years. You know what the result would be? Remember: all the shit I have now I only got it from chatting trice a day for a period of 7 days...

That's why I don't want a girlfriend. My question is why, why for the f*ck do I have to suffer from this small kind of bshit??? Are my hormones in a mess?? Or what??

I am 18 btw

 

Nah, sounds like an extreme case of Oneitis, ie, you've put all your attention towards this one girl, who from the sounds of it just used you because her boyfriend isn't there for her emotionally. Trust me on that one, I was down that exact path, but once I opened my eyes I basically said fuck her and moved on. I laugh when I look back at my situation and how she kept telling me she was going to break up with him to be with me but never did, and only talked to me to bitch about him, lmfao.

You're young so that might be part of the problem too, but one of the biggest mistakes you can make is coming across as desperate, messaging a ton and getting attached (which you did because you said you cried over her). Protip: use your phone for setting up dates in the beginning and then when it starts getting serious you can start texting her more often.

As Golgo said, there's billions of girls out there, don't get hung up on one that you met online.

 

I know that there are billions of girls out there. But it doesn't help me. It's this suffering now, this overanalysizing and thinking if I am right on a topic or not. I want this to stop. Too bad that oneitis isn't a real "disease"...

 

I knew her personally! It was NOT online dating! She was in my class one year ago, but I had depression so I "waited" till my depression is gone. Then I wrote with her on WhatsApp

 

And now I am constantly overanalyzing everything, I worry extremely if I am right on a topic (just an example: I hear about death penalty in the news and I start to think if my opinion on death penalty is right or wrong and this leads to a immense "paranoia"). This is what I don't understand, why I am "suffering" in this way. Are my hormones in a wreck? Or is it only a mental thing?

 

Alright dude story time. It is my belief that just like pmo oneitis is a sort of disease that we create for ourselves due to one reason or another, usually out of the desire to have people in our lives. It's a mindset we create that we must be with so and so or because they said this or looked at us a certain way then they are the one or that you desperately want to be with them.

In highschool I liked about 5 girls total, but not until my junior year. My first 2 years I was pretty much a loner, I had a few friends, but I never talked to girls even though I always wished I had the courage to. At the beginning of my junior year I FELL for one girl because, GASP, she talked to me first and gave me attention. Right then I made it up in my mind I had to date her, but I was a pussy at the time so didn't know how to ask her. I asked her through multiple notes, that included stupid shit about how I liked her and such and she got so upset she wanted to report me to the principle for bothering her. I stopped bothering her after that but I didn't learn my lesson. Later in the semester I did the same thing to another girl who simple stopped talking to me, which of course tore me up.

Senior year I fell for another girl who I had got along with really good but I had learned my lesson about the note bullshit. I asked her out and we did lunch together but she brought a friend, crushing me (since I ONLY wanted to be with her). A few weeks later I asked her out to prom, but with her being younger than me her parents didn't approve of it, which completely devastated me. I actually had 2 other girls who I could have asked but didn't because I was so obsessed with this one. I also had another ask me to prom but again I said no, because if I couldn't go with this one I didn't want to go at all. I had created this bullshit attitude in my head that there is only one for me and this and that blah blah blah. So yeah, I didn't go to prom because I made up a fake excuse in my head why I couldn't go. Don't make the same mistakes I did.

Safe to say after that point it wasn't long and I went to pmo to fill that void in my life since I "failed" to get with the "ones". It's just now that I am crawling out of that void and trying to change that mindset. You just have to stop caring so much and worry about yourself first.