I am not a good son. I am not a good friend. I have made my parents suffer a lot because I don't have my life together, never been there with a good advice for my friends.... when that realisation hits(every once in a while) I feel as if there's huge boulder on my chest and that stops me and slows me down from whatever progress I might be making. Excuse my lack of better english but I don't know how else I experience this, I know I am shit person overall and I am working to improve it but the guilt slows down my improvement a lot, I feel like staying depressed the whole time like a weakling...
You're probably not as bad a person as you think you are. I know what you mean though. Use this feeling to figure out what's wrong with your life and start taking steps to fix the issue. Small, achievable goals at first then work up to bigger goals over time.
You're right, but the thing is guilt stays even after I have figured out what's wrong and started working on it... Really appreciate the support! Thank you!
From your counter you're on day 0. That is likely having an effect on your mood. It might take anywhere from a few days to a week or more to get out of that mental hole, depending on the severity of the relapse.
You are making a positive change right now with this hard mode reboot. Stay with it, watch how things start to change for the better. You got to give it time, my friend.
Weirdly enough I find that good or even great people think they are terrible. Perhaps consider it a gift that you can be retrospective and look within yourself and your past actions / or current. Guilt and shame can be very powerful things but I think they can also fling us into advancement for ourselves!
True, don't know about the great people part but surely guilt and shame trigger introspection which improves oneself.... I feel slightly better now, maybe it was because I was relapsing so much...
Yeah I understand the "great" part now. Yeah relapsing a lot just catapults your mind into a minefield of other thoughts like, "Does this also make me terrible?" and so on. Terrible that we think of when we're down in the dumps. Just keep powering forward is all. Sometimes I view the news or youtube and realize the truly aweful people are ones who do not look within and excuse their actions or feel no sense of guilt or shame.
