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I feel like quitting

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by AversioN, May 25, 2021.

  1. AversioN

    AversioN Fapstronaut

    17yo Male here. Addicted to Porn for more than two year & half. But past 7-8 months, I've been trying to quit this habit after learning the negative consequences of Porn. I've tried almost every single thing. I workout almost everyday. Pray to God 3 times a day. Take cold shower. Sometimes write journals. But I keep falling behind. I'm actually starting to question whether it's actually possible for me. In the March, I got an accountibility partner, we both started together, helping each other to see the end of the tunnel. He is PMO-free for more than a month and here I'm relapsing in every 2-3 days. I know, there are plenty of guys out there on very high streaks. and I mustn't lose hope. But I just can't help but feel despair. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Feeling very ashamed of myself. I know that I can never forgive myself for being such a pathetic weakling, but I still keep going back. The dream of being the man I've always hoped for, it's fading away. I've had few 15-20 days streak over the last 7-8 months, but once I relapse, I go back doing it frequently like before. And I know that my addiction is only strengthening up as more time passes by and something must be done before it gets too late, but I always seem to fail. Will there be actually a day, when I will be able to say that I'm free, free from this filthy habit? Nowadays, Porn feels disgusting. But I still watch it anyway. I can't believe how much I've degenerated after starting PMO. I was always a cheerful guy, with good grades. I was free. I didn't have a single worry. But now I have to carry this burden. I know some people will say I'm acting a bit edgy. But I don't care. I just wanna free myself from this. It's like my own life is slipping in front of my eyes, and there's nothing I can do.
  2. What is happening an hour before you relapse, are you constantly thinking about fapping? It's relatively easy to say you're never going to do "X", "Y, or "Z" after you've relapsed and the urge isn't there. But what really matters is what you do when you feel your defenses lowering. You need to pivot when you seriously start thinking about relapsing. In my personal experience, the hardest times is early on. It's very easy to fall into a cycle of constant relapsing, but once you get the ball rolling it's so much easier.
    AversioN likes this.
  3. AversioN

    AversioN Fapstronaut

    I've figured most of the times, I would relapse cause of boredom. Sometimes, I binge watch Netflix. Binge play video games. I know these things make me relapse so nowadays, I'm trying to avoid these things and try to replace it with more fulfilling activities such as, praying, working out, reading Holy book etc.
    Davidh420 and Starshower like this.
  4. PornisMyGirlfriend

    PornisMyGirlfriend Fapstronaut

    Hello my friend,

    ah..you worry too much 2 years is quite reasonable. At least you allready think about quitting. We all have different reasons to continue being addicted to porn or to quit but being unable because of many many surrounding factors, not always easy to explain.

    Think about that -> I am a hardcore addict to porn since 18 years....so... you take it easy ;)
    Go out take some walks, make sport. At least it " fills your head with fresh air " and distances you from porn even if ....the demon still waits for you to take you into his " welcoming arms".
    Last edited: May 26, 2021
    helloguyz and AversioN like this.
  5. Learner09

    Learner09 Fapstronaut

    Similar to my story when I am on day 40 my friend is on day 19 and on day 45 i relapsed and he somehow reach to day 51 ...these thing bothers me ...It was normal for me to make a streak of 20 and for him also ...but after this relapse it took 10 months to make a streak of 9 days I was in so much disgrace ...the after 1 year of that relapse I made a streak of 28 days but relapsed again and in past year even I can not make a streak of 5 days .....
    But I keep on tryin becaus i have to choose between life and death even after failing in 4-5 days ...
    And became ill 51 days before ....I hospitalized for 10 days and took a month to recover ....
    And my current streak is 51 .....
    I dont have any advise for u because this is not mine streak ...and I never struggled for making it ..but just my story..similar to u ....
    helloguyz and AversioN like this.
  6. karshup

    karshup Fapstronaut


    You say your current streak is 51 but your count on your profile says 500+...just saying that maybe you can change it. :)
    helloguyz likes this.
  7. karshup

    karshup Fapstronaut

    @AversioN - you are more aware of porn harm effects than I was when I was 17 yo. In fact you are even stronger in the sense that to take up this challenge for yourself. I, at the age of 35, still struggle but heyy I am here to fight these urges and recover for good this time.

    Keep working hard and keep getting up back again when you fell down. Enjoy the process and do not get into the numbers game
    AversioN and helloguyz like this.
  8. I see I think all of the things you've named as more fulfilling activities can work. Use these especially when you feel the urge to relapse to pivot instead. I suspect praying and working out will be easier, I know in the past when I've tried to distract myself by reading or writing it was too hard for me to get enthralled in it. There's this woman on youtube that is making a bunch of NoFap videos, and the way she explained the urge is your body going through symptoms of withdrawals because you're not getting such high levels of dopamine. She advised to do something that you enjoy that won't harm you to pivot and that this will lessen the urges. For myself, I just turn on a rhythm game since it requires a lot of focus or work out and that settles my nervous system down. Meditation can work too but I think it's really hard to do so early on when you're going through a strong chaser effect cycle. So whenever you feel that gut wrenching butterfly feeling and that craving to relapse make sure to pivot to an activity that your brain finds rewarding that isn't PMO.
    AversioN likes this.
  9. Inloverber

    Inloverber Fapstronaut

    You can do it bro. I read that you even pray 3 times a day and wow! Just don't give up and be committed on your desired goal. Make yourself busy at most times. Find a new hobby like going to gym, cooking and even blogging.
    AversioN likes this.
  10. BlueBallsOG

    BlueBallsOG Fapstronaut

    Think about how your 25 yo addicted self will look back if you quit now, will he be filled with regret? Probably, but if you break through now he will be so grateful to the 17 yo you.
    AversioN likes this.
  11. dude i am 17 too i was addicted for 2/3 years hard addict daily 5 relapses now i have +100 day streak all and hardest day for me were from day 99 to 104
    all u need is change ur mindset about nofap that will make u successful not doing cold showers doin cold showers are just help to reduce urges and even sometimes it ain’t help 3/4 days ago i had hardest urges ever i did 2/3 cold showers and it couldn’t reduce it
    AversioN likes this.
  12. ElderStatesman

    ElderStatesman Fapstronaut

    Don't be too hard on yourself. Remember that porn appeals to your natural instinct for sex, and your sex drive itself is completely healthy and normal, as well as being, beyond getting yourself enough food and water to survive the day, the most powerful urge in your brain. That's why so many of us, so easily, find ourselves hooked. Thinking of that as a "filthy habit" may just take you down the path of destructive guilt, when you're pretty much no different that the average guy.

    So, rather than making this unnecessarily complicated, totally believing in yourself - no matter how much you think you're f*cking up - might be the best single place to start, then build from there.

    I realize that might be one thing to say, another to try to really do. I've been an addict for a long, long time, so I can sympathize with your frustrations. Check out my journal for my thoughts. Not to be a self-satisfied dickhead, but I could ramble here for days. All my rants are already there. Some find them interesting, some maybe not. Who knows.

    AversioN likes this.

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