I feel so guilty

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Moon Shard, Mar 4, 2020.

  1. Moon Shard

    Moon Shard Fapstronaut

    I got angry with my boyfriend for lying to me. I accidentally saw a lot of porn thumbnails trying to find what he saw in a relapse because I thought it would give me peace. I gave up then masturbated to tentacle porn out of stress and anger :(
    I’ve only watched porn a few times in my life and it was always tentacle porn.. I promise myself to never see porn again, I won’t look at tentacles or try to find what my boyfriend looked at ever again :( I don’t want to get addicted because of my betrayal trauma, but anger is definitely a trigger for me...
  2. hubbawulf1234

    hubbawulf1234 Fapstronaut

    Anger is a tough emotion. Of all emotions, it's the worst to make our thinking shut down and our actions ramp up. Did you learn anything from this? Did your perspective on things change? Perhaps your point of view? He shouldn't have lied to you either. But if you learned from, gain some insight or wisdom then it wasn't all bad.
  3. My wife did the same when we saw my porn history and chats, instead of getting mad at me she got really turned on by it all and we went on a week long porn/sex binge together, end of last year. It can have that effect on women too, especially if they don't watch it often.
  4. I'm sorry you're having a crap time. It can be very hard to shake when you're triggered, particularly if you don't understand the emotion causing it (if it is) - you seem to understand it, but I've struggled when I haven't.

    Hope you can move through this; you sound resolute.
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