I hate porn

You say that your physical fitness "has suffered tremendously," and that you have been over-eating. May I be permitted to venture my opinion that these things are contributing in great measure to the difficulty you find in putting a stop to PMO. I did not get very far in the way of conquering them in my own case until I started eating less and exercising every day (as I describe in this thread). Attempting to exert control over PMO in and of itself is not, in my opinion, very often effective: we also need to take charge of our lifestyle. Exercise would also contribute in great measure to alleviate your depression in and of itself; and there is an enormous amount of scientific evidence that would bear this assertion out.

You have my deepest sympathy in your difficulties. I suffered in a misery very much like your own and I can promise you that it is escapable. Thousands of others could promise the same. You are on the path to recovery simply by being privy to the knowledge that what you are doing is harming you. Struggle on; and endeavour to conquer your addiction each and every day, both directly and by improving your health.

EDIT: P. S. If you like role playing because of the social aspect, perhaps you could get involved in role playing communities that do not involve anything sexual, which would also help to beguile the time. World of Warcraft I know has role playing servers; and there must be other games, and other places on the internet, which also have role playing communities.

 

Raiden27d I think just writing that post must have taken a tremendous effort for you. You seem like a man who's seen it all and just wants the real pure girl that will "set your soul on fire" as you said. You've thought what this girl can offer you but what can you offer this girl?

Now I could be an asshole and say, "there's no dream girl and you should man up and stop porn because porn is dumb." Having these desires and feelings is important to recovery. She's out there somewhere (bear in mind I don't know how many girls are in your vicinity of your desert military post, doesn't sound like a ton) and you have to realize that this possible relationship needs to work both ways other than just sex.

But on a more serious note I have to point out the line involving taking your own life. As frustrated and bitter towards yourself and the world, porn will not consume you. You've proven that by writing to all of us. But no man on the internet can help you then talking to someone or letting them listen to you. Raiden27d I believe you've reached a point where, as scary as this will seem, your story needs be told to a family member, a friend or mentor. Don't let your story end here Raiden27d. You've earned a new adventure.

 

Dude, I totally identify. I always search out gangbangs of orcs on princesses in hentail. It is always the first porn I see when starting to binge.

 

I read your story and I think you should move to a better place. Life is too short to stay in one location that you hate.

 

People end up like you not because of them, but because of lack of caring and human warmth.
There are places where people are risking life every day but suicide is uncommon.
Why? Because there is a life culture. Here in the western world it has been eradicated and replaced with cynism.
Really I hope that you'll manage to start LIVING again, buddy.